Transcribed by Michelle Kelly.

##Intro

Rhi: Welcome back to Duskwall. I am recording this intro a bit earlier than usual as I’m preparing the episode before I leave for AcadeCon. I’m really looking forward to playing some new games, catching up with friends and handing out just a ton of Magpies bookmarks. I really hope to see some listeners there.

All of the normal support announcements are still true. Reviews are awesome. Back us on Patreon if you can and if you want to potentially win a Magpies pin. Check out our Shapeways shop to buy a Magpies pin of your very own. With Patreon, I’m especially excited, because we’re getting ever closer to our 400 a month goal, and when we get there we’ll be able to eventually set up a merch shop. I have a whole document that’s just a list of t-shirt ideas and I really want to be able to wear many of them someday. And I bet a lot of you do too.

Also, we continue to get closer to unlocking the Whitehollow worldbuilding special episode. As a refresher, The Magpies will soon be leaving Duskwall for a brief trip to the city of Whitehollow, and because there’s basically no information on that city in the core Blades in the Dark book, The Magpies crew spent some time building out the city. It was a ton of fun and there are some really cool gems in there that we weren’t able to work into the episode. So, if this bonus episode gets released, you’ll get some cool extra information. The bonus episode will be released when we reach 100,000 downloads. Right now, we’re at about 97,000, which is so close. So, encourage new folks to listen and keep those downloads coming. I would love to get this bonus episode released before The Magpies take their trip in the show. Next, Minna is gonna tell us about this month’s featured charity.

Minna: This month we are spotlighting Planned Parenthood. They provide reproductive services from birth control and STD screening to abortions. They also provide education and are working to fight abortion bans across the nation. I strongly believe that everybody has the right to whatever reproductive services and choices they want. If you would like to support Planned Parenthood, you can go to their website at PlannedParenthood.org and click the donate button. Or, you could find a local organization and support them as well, that is also great.

Rhi: I’m recording this intro right after local elections in places like Missouri, Kentucky, and Virginia, and all of those places saw losses, some very substantial, for the GOP. With Democratic majorities in state government, there’s a new opportunity to undo the gerrymandering and voter suppression efforts of the Republican party. So, whether you live in one of those states or not, make sure to reach out to your state and local officials to emphasize the important of protecting and expanding voting rights. Election security and people’s ability to vote are absolutely critical as we move towards the 2020 elections.

Now then. Let’s get started, shall we?

##Story continues [0.03.10]

Rhi: We open up on an article in the Doskvol Daily. There is a big headline splashed across the front page, accompanied by a sketch of a familiar artist. The headline reads, “Artist Raffello Missing, Feared Dead Following Attack on Studio.”

Minna: [gasps]

Rhi: By Anita Argent, staff reporter. “The famed and beloved artist Raffello remains missing following a devastating and destructive attack on their Fogcrest studio. Members of their artistic enclave report that spirits suddenly converged on the studio and attacked, sending the artists fleeing into the street. During the attack the death bell sounded, and the Spirit Wardens and Inspectors who arrived reported a grisly, blood-stained scene in Raffello’s private rooms. But there was no sign of the artist’s body and the Wardens fear the worst, that Raffello has perished, and with their body removed, their spirit will be unleashed upon the city. ‘It is an utter tragedy’, Lady Eleanor Penderyn told the Daily, ‘Raffello was not only a uniquely talented visionary, they were also a dear friend. This brutal, senseless attack strikes at the heart of everything that makes Duskwall beautiful.’

Minna: [stifles a giggle]

Rhi: “While reports are as yet unconfirmed, sources within The Bluecoats claim that the investigation into Raffello’s disappearance has once again turned towards the treacherous terrorists known as The Magpies. This gang of criminals has long struck out at the pillars of Duskwall society, and it appears that this time they may be responsible for the loss of one of our greatest artists.”

Josie: Looks like our plan didn’t work.

Rhi: The investigation is looking at you, it’s looking at The Dimmer Sisters, but you’re an easier target than The Dimmer Sisters. The Dimmer Sisters have too many connections in polite society.

Josie: Right.

Rhi: So, where are you all reading this article? Where do we find The Magpies?

Kim: Can we be at The Hound’s Paw?

Josie: Sure…

Rhi: It has been a while.

Minna: Yeah.

Rhi: So yeah, you’re at The Hound’s Paw, at your usual table. I think Rigney has brought you your usual drinks. He seemed very happy to see you. It’s been quite some time since you all have just kinda come down here to hang out. Yeah, how is everyone reacting to this article?

Josie: Minx, who had come in a little off already, she’s wearing her hair down, which is pretty uncommon, but otherwise seemed fine, like, is maybe settling in being comfortable around Rigney again, picked up the paper, took one look at it, and just sort of kind of went blanch white.

Rhi: Ooh.

Josie: And it still just kind of like that.

Kim (as Blaire): So, let me get this straight. First, we were organized, and now we’re terrorists? How does that add up?

Josie (as Minx): I, well, um… I don’t see how don’t terrorists and organization are mutually exclusive. If they were gonna brand us so, we may as well be organized.

Kim (as Blaire): But we’re not organized.

Rhi: [laughs]

Josie (as Minx): Yes, but it’s important to convey the— you know what dear, I can’t even pull that right now.

Minna (as Myra): There’s not really enough of us to organize, is there?

Kim (as Blaire): No. They must think that there are more of us than there really are. That’s the only thing I can think of.

Josie (as Minx): At least they are operating under useful delusions.

Kim (as Blaire): How is it useful?

Josie (as Minx): They will be looking in other places and expecting a much more sizeable force.

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, I guess so.

Josie (as Minx): Really it’s more, the more wrong information they have about us, the better.

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah. Point taken.

Josie (as Minx): Drat. It seems our ploy at the end there didn’t quite take.

Minna (as Myra): Well, there’s not much use dwelling on it, is there? This is the situation we’re in now.

Kim (as Blaire): Here’s the other thing, here’s the other thing. What happened to the body? We didn’t do anything with the body.

Josie (as Minx): No.

Kim (as Blaire): So, who took it?

Minna (as Myra): That is a good question.

Rhi: I will— so, earlier in the score, before the killing happened and the death bell started ringing, which alerted the Spirit Wardens that they needed to move in, you all did set off some kind of alarm.

Josie: Mm hmm.

Kim: We did?

Rhi: That had some other form of backup coming. Could be that those, whoever that backup was, probably somebody from the Circle of Flame—

Josie: Yes.

Rhi: Removed the body before the Spirit Wardens could get to it.

Josie (as Minx): In which case, they may be using Raffello’s spirit for information, and potentially against us.

Minna (as Myra): Oh, that’s ghoulish. No pun intended.

Josie (as Minx): I was about to say, dear.

Kim (as Blaire): So, does that mean we should rescue them?

Josie (as Minx): Yes, well, we don’t really know where the rest of The Circle may operate since the Centuralia Club and other lairs have been, well, taken out by us.

Rhi: And also, you know, you killed them on purpose. Rescuing their spirit seems a little counterproductive.

Kim (as Blaire): They’re using them, you know?

Josie (as Minx): It would be more a matter of protecting ourselves than rescuing them.

Kim (as Blaire): Mm.

Josie (as Minx): For me, at least.

Rhi: [laughs] Death cleanses all sins in Blaire’s eyes. It doesn’t matter what you did when you were alive, once you’re dead.

Kim (as Blaire): Listen, we’re all gonna fucking die. [laughs]

Rhi: “Listen,” Blaire says to the voice in the sky.

Josie and Kim: [laugh]

Josie (as Minx): There is more I want to touch on with regards to Raffello, but this is not the place to do it. I did have an idea for how perhaps to help someone out and get our information flowing again.

Kim (as Blaire): Oh yeah?

Josie (as Minx): Well, Lani and Roxanne have been out of real journalism for a while now, and it is partially because of their involvement with us that they are like that. And I think it’s time we make those reparations somehow. I was thinking of purchasing them a printing press, although after looking into it I don’t think even I can afford such.

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, I was going to say, there is absolutely no way we could afford something like that. I have no money.

Rhi: [laughs]

Josie (as Minx): Well, fortunately we have quite a bit of experience in thieving, Blaire.

Kim (as Blaire): Thieving?

Josie (as Minx): So, I was thinking of turning to that solution.

Minna: [laughs]

Josie (as Minx): Amongst us, yes.

Rhi: So, in terms of pulling this off I have a couple ideas, but I will also defer to the three of you, if you have any ideas for where you might be able to obtain a printing press. I did some research earlier today on Victorian-era printing presses.

Kim: Hey!

Rhi: They’re very big. Steam-powered, so they would be probably, you know, running off of electricity, electroplasmic powered, in this setting. So, you would need not only the printing press but somewhere to keep it and, you know, store ink and paper and other supplies that you would need. So, you’re looking at obtaining not just a printing press, but some property.

Josie (as Minx): It seems as though Seeks may have had the right idea. We need to steal a building.

Minna and Rhi: [laugh]

Josie (as Minx): Preferably one with a printing press already in it.

Minna (as Myra): How does one steal a building?

Josie (as Minx): Cleverly, of course.

Rhi: [laughs]

Kim (as Blaire): But specifically, how does one steal a building? You can’t, like, pick up a building in the middle of the night and then walk away with it and put it in your treasure chest, you know?

Josie (as Minx): No, we needn’t do that. We need simply invent an elaborate and elegant story of intrigue in the business world and ensure something changes hands. To us.

Kim (as Blaire): We could haunt the building. And then nobody will want it and then we’re interested buyers for some reason and then we just, you know. Get the house. Or the building.

Minna (as Myra): Are you suggesting the return of Lyra Langdon?

Kim and Rhi: [gasps]

Minna: [laughs]

Josie (as Minx): You have read my mind, Myra.

Josie and Rhi: [laugh]

Josie (as Minx): I shall have to write a sequel!

Kim (as Blaire): I’m not giving you more fanfiction fodder, Minx.

Josie (as Minx): [sighs]

Rhi: Yes, you are.

Kim (as Blaire): No, I’m not! It’s gross to write fanfiction about real people.

Josie (as Minx): We’re not. These are the masks we wear.

Kim (as Blaire): We’re not real people?

Josie (as Minx): No, Blaire, the whole point is that they are not actually us. We’re pretending to be people who do not exist and the fiction is about those people.

Rhi: You’re LARPing as your OCs, is what Minx is saying.

Kim (as Blaire): Oh…

[laughter]

Rhi: So, your plan, it sounds like, is to locate a building that contains the needed printing press.

Josie: Slap the roof of it, say, “This baby can fit so many ghosts in it.”

Kim (as Blaire): Yes!

[laughter]

Kim (as Blaire): And I will unleash them!

Rhi: Yeah, Blaire makes the place be haunted, and then you all can buy the building for a really low price.

Kim (as Blaire): The low, low price of [whispers] it’s free real estate.

Josie: [laughs]

Kim: I’m sorry, I am feral silly billy today.

Rhi: It’s okay. It’s good.

Josie: Welcome to Magpies: Meme Edition.

Rhi: Yeah.

Kim: Isn’t that every night?

Josie: Rhi’s keeping all of this in, right? [laughs]

Rhi: I will be keeping a fair amount of it in, yes.

Kim: [laughs]

Josie: Yes.

Rhi: I think for irony’s sake I’m gonna cut this conversation though.

Josie: Excellent.

Josie and Rhi: [laugh]

Rhi: Okay, so the Doskvol Daily is sort of the big newspaper printing press in town, but there are other book publishers and smaller printers that you might be able to go after.

Josie: Yes, I feel like the Doskvol Daily might be a little bit too high-profile for this to work successfully.

Rhi: Yes. That’s like being like, “Let’s steal the New York Times.”

Josie: [laughs]

Minna: Bold as hell, also not gonna fuckin happen.

Josie (as Minx): We will need to target someone who has what we need, but it also not particularly high-profile, but not so low-profile that we are scaring an honest person out of work in favor of the people we favor. We need to find an arse who is not the Doskvol Daily.

Rhi: Yep. [laughs]

Josie (as Minx): So this way it is firmly for a good cause.

Rhi: Sounds like you know what kinda info you need to gather.

Josie: And for once I think we might be able to do it by reading. [laughs]

Kim (as Blaire): I read.

Minna: So do I.

Josie: I’m not saying that we don’t read it’s just we’re usually going all over the city and pulling on all of these weird connections for Gather Info. We might be able to just sit down in The Nest after some trips to the news stand and figure one out.

Rhi: Yeah. If you wanna start there, with everybody kind of doing some Study rolls, or however you wanna approach it?

Josie (as Minx): Well, Minx’s strong suit is not Studying. Her strong suit is finding things at a glance. I think Minx wants to actually collect the texts and try to get a good sampling that the other two can pull through.

Rhi: Okay yeah, and try and find some decent targets?

Josie: Yeah. Basically, I’m making a case for Survey instead of Study, because I have a dot in that. [laughs]

Rhi: Yeah, that works for me. Does that sound good to the other two of you?

Kim: Yeah.

Josie: I got a 4.

Rhi: Okay.

Josie: And I think what this looks like is Minx adopting a more business-like outfit for the day and a pair of round spectacles with which to peruse various bookstores and news stands for what she’s looking for. Basically, giving the appearance of looking like she knows what she’s doing, but maybe a bit less than what she conveys. [laughs]

Minna: I can only picture Legally Blonde. [laughs] Elle Woods.

Rhi: [laughs]

Josie: You know what? Not far off.

Rhi: Okay, so you’re just trying to gather a whole bunch of, kind of like, a representative swathe of stuff that’s published by different places in the city, right?

Josie: Precisely.

Rhi: Okay. I think with a 4, that’s a standard amount of information, I think you get a pretty solid selection. There’s probably a few, like, very small publishers that you don’t get, but those are also probably the kind of people you wouldn’t want to target. Newspapers and pamphlets and magazines and a few small books that, like, there’s no rhyme or reason thematically to what the subjects are. It’s just a good representation of the different publishers in the city.

Josie: And I think Minx comes back to The Nest victorious, with twine bundles of these under her arms, and dramatically spreads them out across the table.

Josie (as Minx): Ladies, we have papers. And in these papers, I want you to look for pictures of Spiderman.

Rhi: God dammit!

[laughter]

Minna: Bringing that one back, are we?

Josie: [laughs] Yep.

Rhi: [long sigh] Alright. Well. Somebody roll me some kind of Gather Info roll on this pile of papers that Minx has gleefully brought home for you.

Kim: I will do a Study. Okay, that’s a 6, my dude.

Rhi: Okay. So, Blaire, as you’re rifling through all of these papers, what is something that somebody could be publishing that you all would find objectionable?

Kim: Hmm.

Rhi: Besides the Doskvol Daily.

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: Something where you’re like, “You know what? We could make better use of this.”

Kim: If the Doskvol Daily is Fox News, then whatever we go after for this printing press is probably like, InfoWars or Breitbart or something.

Josie: Are you suggesting we take out Alex Jones? Cause I’m down for that.

[laughter]

Minna: I mean, either someone who’s publishing either, like, anti-union screeds, or anti-Skovlander screeds, or both.

Josie and Rhi: Ooh.

Rhi: Somebody who’s really racist against Skovlan is—

Minna: Just putting out horrible pamphlets.

Josie: Yeah, we haven’t, like, done that yet.

Rhi: Yeah, yeah. The whole Skovlan thing hasn’t really been touched on a ton in this story, but it’s definitely a thing that is happening in the background. The Unity War ended just a few years ago and there’s a ton of Skovlan refugees in the city, and there is definitely, yeah. There is a lot of anti-Skovlan sentiment within the city. I like that idea, I think it works really well.

Kim: It does.

Rhi: Okay, yeah. Blaire, you’re rifling through all of these papers and it’s just, like, a complete mishmash of random things that Minx picked up while she was out and about in the city, but you eventually come across a few pamphlets that are really, really just blatant anti-Skovlan propaganda. God, I’m trying to do this without just quoting directly from all of the, like, horrible anti-immigrant bullshit that we are currently living in.

Minna: Ugh. [sighs]

Josie: Yeah.

Kim: Boy oh boy.

Rhi: It’s that’s kinda stuff. I’m not gonna… it’s that sort of crap. It is all that sort of very anti-refugee, anti-immigrant garbage.

Kim: Gross.

Rhi: In these pamphlets. And they are published by Dalmore press and there is an address listed. Somebody like this wouldn’t be able to afford Charterhall. Um, honestly, it’s probably in Crow’s Foot. Because majority of the Skovlan refugees are set up either in the docks or, like, down in Charhollow and Coalridge. So, there’s a lot of people in those sort of neighborhoods where that sentiment will find an audience, unfortunately. And it looks like, kinda looking at the quality, you can tell that this is probably, you know, definitely a smaller operation. The only stuff that this— at least that Minx picked up, that this person has seems to just be pamphlets. They’re not printing, like, full books or papers or anything like that.

Josie (as Minx): Well, easy target.

Rhi: I like that you’re developing this strategy of you new way of clearing a building is to just unleash ghosts upon it. Because you did that last episode too. [laughs]

Josie: I mean, it’s effective.

Minna: Yeah, the problem is we did ghost riot once and now we’re just doing mini ghost riots, because we learned it worked.

Rhi: Yeah, you find a strategy that works, like, stick with it.

Minna: Former workers the world unite.

Rhi: Do you wanna go as a group, or I know Myra hasn’t done a Gather Info, wanna go scout this building out and try to, you know, get a read? A lay of the land?

Kim: We can go as a group.

Josie: Might as well.

Minna: Yeah, that makes sense.

Rhi: So, you all troop over to Crow’s Foot, to the address printed on these terrible, terrible pamphlets, and yeah, you can’t really do a group Gather Info, so why don’t we start with Myra rolls something to get a look at this place, and then if you all wanna do additional ones after, we can do that. So.

Minna: I am looking at… can I Study?

Rhi: Yeah.

Minna: 5.

Rhi: Okay. I think it’s a building that the ground floor is a business, and then there’s some, like, apartments above it.

Josie: Mm.

Minna: Mm hmm.

Rhi: So, it’s gonna be a three-story building. Ground level is this printing press, and then apartments on the two floors above.

Minna: Who lives above?

Rhi: You’re not sure from looking at it from the outside. You could probably, you know, go dig into some records to find out. The odds are that if this Dalmore person owns the printing press, he might own the whole building and like, you know, live in one of those apartments and rent the rest out.

Minna: Well, if he owns the whole building and we steal/buy the whole building from him, that’s fine. It’s just if he only owns the ground floor for some reason and we then have awful neighbors, that’s going to be awkward. But we can deal with it.

Josie: Right.

Rhi: Yeah, you would have to investigate, I think. Like, looking at public records. Which I think you could do very easily to figure out ownership of that. But just kind of from examining the building out here, no.

Minna: Are there inactive times? Like, times when clearly everyone’s asleep and the ground floor is dark?

Rhi: Yeah. You all are… I dunno, what time of day do you think you all are over here?

Minna: I think, yeah, around dinner time we go to check it out. And then just hang out for a while.

Rhi: Yeah, so you get there, you know, five or six in the evening. The ground floor is closed. It’s, you know, locked up. There’s a closed sign in the front. It doesn’t look like it’s the kind of place that really has a lot of visitors. There are kind of big windows on the front, but they’ve got blinds pulled down across them to cover it up. The name Dalmore Press is in pretty small letters on the door. There are lights on in some of the apartments above, though, and you can kinda see, you know, people moving around. Like, silhouettes, through curtains and stuff. You can tell that those are occupied. I know one of the questions that came up earlier is to see if there are any particular wards against spirits on the place?

Minna: Ooh, yeah.

Rhi: So, there is a spiritbane charm hanging above the door on the ground floor. There might be some stuff in, you know, individuals may have things in the apartments above. Spiritbane charms are pretty common, so they may have something individually in those units, but again, checking from the outside you’re not certain. This is like a Tier 1 place that you’re looking at, this is not somebody that has an enormous amount of money, does not have arcane wards, probably doesn’t even have any sparkcraft security on the place. You’re just going to have to get through some locks. If you’re even trying to break in. You probably don’t have to break in to unleash some ghosts.

Josie: Okay.

Rhi: The issue might be more making sure the ghosts do what you want them to.

Josie: Mm hmm. And also, so we are able to approach before the ghosts are handled by, say, a Spirit Warden patrol or something like that.

Rhi: Yes. Yes, that is true.

Josie: Because we don’t actually want the ghosts to get caught.

Rhi: Yeah.

Josie: I feel like the way to do that might be to see if we can offer some of the more conscious ghosts we know something.

Kim: Oh!

Josie: To go in and do their thing, but so they’re just like—

Kim: I know who to call.

Josie: But, you know, they’re still aware, so if things get dangerous, they can just back out.

Rhi: Mm hmm.

Kim: What was her name again?

Rhi: Uh, Katrina? With The Reconciled? Was that who you were thinking of?

Kim: No, no, no, I’m thinking of the ditsy one.

Rhi: [delighted laugh]

Josie: From the trial. [laughs]

Rhi: Um, uh… Tira.

Kim: Tira!

Rhi: Yeah, no, Tira would be super down for this. [giggles]

Josie: Maybe it’s not so much a traditional haunting, maybe Tira goes in and annoys the guy out of this.

Kim: I like that.

Minna: Oh, Tira would love this shit. She wanted to do all that annoying poltergeist stuff.

Kim: Yes.

Minna: And especially if you tell her this guy’s an asshole.

Rhi: Tira is the perfect choice for this, you are so right. Oh my God.

Kim: Yes.

Josie: [laughs]

Rhi: Myra, did you still wanna, or Minx, one of you or both, did you still wanna kinda go poke into the records to try and figure out who owns the whole building, who lives—

Minna: I think Myra’s the kind of thorough that would do this, I don’t know about Minx.

Josie: Well, I have a bunch of things I wanna do, but I’m trying to decide whether they’re flashbacks and there’s time to do them, or if they’re setup actions. Like, what I wanna do is like, try to establish our haunted property liquidation scam before the actual haunting occurs. Like, you know, make some pamphlets and spread them around the neighborhood and…

Rhi: Um. Either way, it would end up kind of giving you an advantage when you’re talking with this guy to convince him that you are legitimate business owners.

Josie: Yeah. I might just do that as a setup action.

Rhi: Okay.

Josie: To get it out of the way.

Rhi: Yeah. What skill are you gonna use to do this?

Josie: I’m gonna argue for Sway, since that is effectively what I’m trying to do right now. I’m just trying to lend credence here.

Rhi: Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Josie: That’s 2, 1, 1.

Rhi: Yeah. Alright, so on a 2…

Josie: I think it comes off as too skeevy.

Rhi: Or I was gonna say that it’s too recent. You’re not able to really kind of establish, like, “Oh yeah, they’ve definitely been around for a while.” You sound brand new.

Josie: Okay.

Rhi: But also probably a little skeevy. [laughs]

Josie: [laughs] okay.

Minna: This has the vibe of those, like, poster boards you see on street corners, like, “We’ll buy your house, cash.”

Rhi: Yeah.

Minna: That are done in permanent marker on a poster board.

Josie: [laughs] Oh dear.

Rhi: But yeah you do put up a whole bunch of signs for, would you like to share your business name here and your pitch? Just read off the whole poster, really.

Josie: Okay. [laughs] I will do that for your listening pleasure. “Spectra and Associates Liquidation. Got ghosts? Get cash! If you’re experiencing a haunting, you may be eligible for compensation. Liquidate your bespectred property and get cash now. No markup. No questions asked.”

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: [laughs] Alright, so that is what Minx is doing, probably for the next couple days. Blaire, let’s have you roll for tracking down Tira. How do you think you go about doing that?

Kim: I imagine that’s an Attune.

Rhi: Okay.

Kim: Okay, that’s a 6.

Rhi: You talk to some of the people you know in The Reconciled and you’re able to, you know, get pointed in the right direction. And you start hearing about a poltergeist who has been haunting the Jayan Hall of Alchemy at Charterhall. But not in, like, a scary or disturbing way. Kind of more in an annoying way, or sometimes just a funny way. Like, you know, there have been a couple, like, particularly ill-liked professors who have gotten pantsed in the middle of lectures by a spirit.

Kim: [laughs]

Rhi: Random things written in chalk on the chalkboards by a ghostly hand. So, you manage to, I think, track her down outside one of the buildings of the alchemy school. Or I think it might actually be that she spots you. Because I think you’re walking down an alley and then she just kinda, like, pokes her head through a wall and is like:

Rhi (as Tira): Oh, hey.

Kim (as Blaire): Hey, there you are.

Rhi (as Tira): I… I know you.

Kim (as Blaire): Blaire.

Rhi (as Tira): Blaire, yeah!

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, hey.

Rhi (as Tira): Oh yeah, that whole… that whole weird trial thing. Yeah.

Kim (as Blaire): Yup. Yup, you possessed me. You were in my body. We didn’t know how to drive.

Rhi (as Tira): Yeah…

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, it was a good time.

Rhi (as Tira): Yeah! Yeah, that was fun.

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, we should do it again sometime.

Rhi (as Tira): Can I do it again?

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi (as Tira): Okay, like right now?

Kim (as Blaire): Uh, no. No, we can’t.

Rhi (as Tira): Oh.

Kim (as Blaire): Listen, next time. I will owe you for this one. Next time we—

Rhi (as Tira): What are you owing me for? What am I… what am I doing? Is it another trial?

Kim (as Blaire): No, no, no. Not another trial.

Rhi (as Tira): Okay.

Kim (as Blaire): Do you wanna annoy the shit out of some people?

Rhi (as Tira): Yes.

Kim (as Blaire): Okay, great.

Rhi (as Tira): I mean, that’s what I’ve been doing here this whole time. It’s actually pretty fun.

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah! I bet it is. But I need you to annoy the shit out of people that are not here.

Rhi (as Tira): Oh. Okay, I can do that.

Kim (as Blaire): Just for a little while, and then you can go back to, you know, terrorizing Professor Dowler and…

Rhi (as Tira): [laughs] That guy’s such an ass.

Kim (as Blaire): He’s such an asshole! His grading is so subjective! I got As in all of my classes except for his. He gave me an A minus.

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: [laughs] I think Tira just stares at you and blinks.

Rhi (as Tira): So… okay. You know what, I’m not gonna— never mind. Okay.

Kim (as Blaire): He practically failed me!

Josie: [laughs] Oh no. We just got some insight into Blaire’s upbringing.

Rhi: Yeah. [laughs] So I think Tira is just kinda like:

Rhi (as Tira): Uh… okay.  Well, I’ll pants him again for ya sometime.

Kim (as Blaire): Can you do something worse than pantsing? Can you like… I don’t know. Can you, like, make him choke on his tea or something?

Rhi (as Tira): I don’t know if I can do that… I could spill ink all over his gradebook?

Kim (as Blaire): That would be good. That would be really good.

Rhi (as Tira): Yeah.

Kim (as Blaire): Um…

Rhi (as Tira): Yeah, what did you need me to do?

Kim (as Blaire): Oh yeah.

Rhi (as Tira): You said I had to annoy somebody.

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah. Professor Dowler, he’s another project another time. And I wanna be there where you whip his ass.

Rhi: [laughs]

Rhi (as Tira): I thought you got expelled.

Kim (as Blaire): Oh yeah. Well, anyway, tell me all about it when you do it. Anyway.

Rhi (as Tira):  And they say I’m the distractible one.

Kim (as Blaire): [laughs] No, sorry. My friends and I, we’re trying to steal a building.

Rhi (as Tira):  That’s so cool.

Kim (as Blaire): Right?

Rhi (as Tira):  Are you gonna use, like, a crane to pick it up and take it away?

Kim (as Blaire): [laughs] No, no. Our plan is we need to make out like the building is haunted.

Rhi (as Tira): Uh huh.

Kim (as Blaire): And that way, the price of the building will go so, so, so freaking low. And then we’re pretending to be people who we’re not and then we’re just gonna buy the place.

Rhi (as Tira): So all I have to do is annoy somebody, though?

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, because—

Rhi (as Tira): Okay! I can do it.

Kim (as Blaire): I knew you would darling, but—

Rhi (as Tira): I don’t need to know about all the real state stuff, I just need to annoy a guy?

Kim (as Blaire): Honestly, I don’t know anything about real estate either.

Rhi (as Tira): Okay. Yay!

Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, I needed someone like you to do this, because we don’t wanna actually haunt the place, cause we kinda need it.

Rhi (as Tira): I think that if there’s a ghost, it’s not, like, I feel like if there’s a ghost present it’s just haunted. It’s kind of like a yes or no thing.

Kim (as Blaire): Uh… yeah, I guess so.

Rhi (as Tira): But I’m not gonna, like, be a mean ghost.

Kim (as Blaire): You’re not a mean ghost! You’re a sweetheart.

Rhi (as Tira): Aww, thank you.

Minna and Josie: Aww.

Rhi (as Tira): You’re very nice too.

Kim (as Blaire): Oh, I’m really not, but thank you. Yeah, no, you’re not mean. You’re a good ghost.

Rhi (as Tira): Thanks.

Kim (as Blaire): You’re welcome.

Rhi (as Tira): You want me to go annoy somebody now?

Kim (as Blaire): Professor Dowler, please.

Rhi (as Tira): Okay, I’m gonna go pour ink. Where should I meet you?

Kim (as Blaire): Do you know where The Hound’s Paw is?

Rhi (as Tira): I can find it. I don’t have anything better to do with my time.

Kim (as Blaire): Okay, yeah, just meet me outside there.

Rhi (as Tira): Okay. I’m gonna go pour ink all over Dowler’s gradebooks. Bye!

Kim (as Blaire): Bye, pour it on his face too.

Rhi: [laughs] She goes back into the building. Okay, Myra. You’re also in the area of Charterhall, but looking for some real estate records. Do you wanna go ahead and give me a roll of some kind for that?

Minna: Mm hmm. And I got a 6 on that.

Rhi: Okay, yeah. You very easily are able to find some paperwork indicating who owns the place. It is, we’re gonna say, Bernard Dalmore is the name of the guy. He owns the whole building in addition to the printing press. He rents out the, we’ll say, six apartments above. Any other info you would like to get while you’re digging around in the real estate records?

Minna: Is there any way in there I could find out thinks about, like, market value in the area?

Rhi: Yeah…

Minna: Or at least, like, what price he bought it.

Rhi: Oh, yeah. For sure. So, Crow’s Foot is a, you know, not great district. I’m gonna say that he bought— this is a three-story building. He probably bought this for, yeah, I’m gonna say ten coin.

Josie: Oh.

Rhi: Yeah. I mean, it’s a building.

Josie and Minna: Mm hmm.

Rhi: So yeah, he paid ten coin for it. He’s owned the place for several years. Anything else you would like to find out in the records, Myra?

Minna: I’m trying to think what else we could use from these records.

Rhi: I mean, if something comes up you can always, like, ask me what I have found that’s in the records.

Minna: Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.

Rhi: So, yeah. Okay. So, Myra, you spend a couple of honestly probably pretty relaxing hours poring over some legal documents. And then, you know, you take your notes, you pack up your stuff, you head outside whatever this government building is and as you are coming down the stairs into the lobby, there is a Bluecoat squadron standing there in front of the doors.

Minna: Mm. Yes, I went into a nice area of town while extremely wanted, how dumb of me.

Rhi: And as you kinda hit the foyer, a couple of them look up and go:

Rhi (as Bluecoat): Yeah, that’s her.

Rhi: And they start moving in on you.

Minna: Ahh!

Josie: Oh no.

Rhi: What are you gonna do?

Josie: Oh no?

Minna: Uh… I know this building pretty well. I’m gonna try and, like, slip out the side exit or something.

Rhi: Okay. Give me a roll of some kind to try and shake them.

Minna: Mm… I don’t have any good ones on this, do I? Man. I guess it’s gonna have to be Prowl. I’ve been neglecting my Prowl skill.

Rhi: Go ahead and roll it.

Minna: I’m gonna push myself.

Rhi: Okay.

Minna: 6, thank God.

Rhi: Okay. [laughs] So, you, yeah, tell me how you make this escape from the Bluecoats that are coming after you.

Minna: Myra, she knows that this is a dangerous place for her to come. She’s been coming here for a while, but she knows that it’s gotten ever more dangerous. So she’s been, you know, scouting out potential escape routes. She has them in her head, so she instantly knows, “Oh there’s people that way, let’s go this way.” She dives down a hallway which kinda mostly has, like, secretarial offices, and there’s a door out to an alley. She ducks out that way and then she gets up onto— there’s like a fire escape type thing, and she gets up on to that and gets onto the roof of the building next door and then goes from there.

Rhi: Okay, yeah. So I think as you scramble up onto the roof, you see several Bluecoats, like, fanning out down the alley and, you know, kinda of shouting to each other like:

Rhi (as Bluecoats): No, clear down here. No sign of her.

Minna: I think she just, kinda like, crouches down like a gargoyle, you know, behind a chimney or something.

Rhi: Yeah. You can hear them kind of shouting to each other as they’re looking for you. And you have to hang out up there probably for pretty close to an hour. You peek out every now and then and there’s still more Bluecoats around than you’re comfortable with, but eventually they disperse and you’re able to head back to the street and make your way back home. But, yeah. You know that they are pretty hot on your tails at this point, if they’re waiting for you when you’re leaving the records halls. So, how do you wanna go about—I feel like you probably need to send Tira in first and let her work for a few days to soften him up?

Josie: Yeah, probably.

Rhi: Blaire, can I have you roll me something as a setup action, I think is how we’re gonna do this.

Kim: Hmm. What would you like me to roll?

Rhi: Whatever you think would be relevant to Tira doing her dark mischief.

Kim: I’ll roll Attune, I guess.

Rhi: Okay.

Kim: Okay, that’s a 6 and a 5.

Rhi: With a 6, okay, I’m just gonna note that she’s been incredibly effective. She’s so annoying. Like, I feel like you all probably kind of, you know, scout the place out. You know, you check up on it over the next few days, and like, occasionally you walk by and can just see, like, the blinds rattling and you can hear muffled shouting from inside. At one point there’s definitely, like, a tornado of paper happening in the middle of the room that you can see through the glass on the door. It’s just, it’s a lot. Let’s do the engagement roll as you all are approaching. 3d6 engagement roll, which is pretty good.

Josie: Woo!

Rhi: So, I will roll this. Huh.

Josie: We got a 1, didn’t we?

Rhi: No. It’s three 3s.

Minna: [laughs]

Josie: [strained] Great.

Rhi: [laughs] I rolled 3d6 and every last one of them came up a 3.

Minna: Clearly, we’re destined to have a 3.

Rhi: Yeah. So, this is, I assume… this is pretty clearly a deception score.

Josie: Uh huh.

Rhi: I do not see what else it could be. You’re in a desperate position. A desperate position on this would be…

Josie: I have a proposition?

Rhi: Yeah, yeah. Hit me.

Josie: Some Spirit Wardens got here before us.

Rhi: [gasps] Yes! That’s so good. Oh my God.

Kim: Noooo, Tira!

Rhi: Yes, yes, yes, perfect. Love it. Okay. Okay. So, the three of you are walking down the street looking— I don’t know if I’d say cool, but confident. You’re ready to go in and you know that Tira has been super obnoxious, this guy probably just wants to get out of this situation. Things are going great. You turn the corner, and there is the signature dark blue and brass carriage of the Spirit Wardens pulled by a pair of Hulls that are vaguely horse-shaped. And Hulls are, for our listening audience, I don’t know that we’ve actually had any appear yet. They are kind of clockwork machines that are powered by spirits.

Kim (as Blaire): Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

Rhi: And they are parked outside.

Josie: Hold on. Only humans make ghosts, right?

Rhi: Yeah.

Josie: So that means they’ve got human spirits, at least of some awareness, bound into a horse shape.

Rhi: Mm hmm.

Josie (as Minx): And they’re using— that is fucked up.

Rhi: Yeah. Hulls are really messed up.

Josie: Like, do we know if they shove a bunch of spirits into these things, or is it just like one?

Rhi: It’s a one-to-one. One Hull gets one spirit.

Minna: Fucking horrific, though.

Rhi: Yeah, yeah.

Josie: Jeez.

Rhi: And like, the process of putting a spirit into a Hull, let me find the exact description of it in here.

Minna: Oh no.

Kim: Oh joy. I learn new things about this setting every game.

Rhi: So you can, like, Hull is an available playbook.

Kim: Whoa!

Josie: Uh huh.

Kim: That’s cool, actually.

Rhi: If you d— yeah, it is. So, for Hulls, they way they work, they are a spirit animating a sparkcraft frame. You have become a pale echo of your living self, trapped in a mechanical body, forced into servitude.

Kim: So, a droid.

Rhi: Pretty much, yeah. They are automatons. Your former human feelings, interests and connections are only dim memories. You now exist to fulfil your functions. So, the process of putting a spirit into a hull strips out pretty much whatever remaining personality they may have had and just sort of binds them to service.

Josie: How does anyone like these guys?

Rhi: Uh, because they keep ghosts from eating everyone and—

Kim: They’re basically pest control.

Rhi: Yeah. To the people of the city, ghosts are scarier. And nine times out of ten, that’s correct. [laughs] Most of the time, ghosts will eat your whole face and then your soul. Anyway, so you all have gotten here, the Spirit Wardens have gotten here before you. What are you gonna do?

Kim (as Blaire): I mean, we’ve gotta make sure Tira’s okay.

Josie (as Minx): Yes, that takes priority here.

Kim (as Blaire): I’m gonna look for her.

Kim: Um—

Josie (as Minx): Here’s the thing, if we lose this opportunity, then we lose this opportunity. We need to make sure she’s okay.

Kim: Blaire’s gonna put on her spirit mask and I suppose I’m gonna roll Attune for the umpteenth time tonight.

Rhi: Yes. And you are in a desperate position, so you’ll mark XP for this.

Kim: Oh, cool. Oh no! Okay. That’s a— heh. I take the highest, right?

Rhi: Yeah.

Kim: That’s a 2.

Josie: Oh no!

Kim: Yeah.

Josie: Woo, what the fuck happened?

Kim: I don’t know!

Rhi: So, you’re able to see Tira. In a jar.

Josie: [inhales]

Minna: No!

Kim: No.

Rhi: In the hands of one of the spirit wardens.

Kim: No!

Rhi: It’s the worst— literally, what it says for if you roll a 1 to a 3 on desperate, it’s the worst outcome. They’ve already caught her.

##Outro [0.44.10]

Rhi: Thanks for listening. The Magpies will be back in two weeks. In the meantime, follow us on Twitter @magpies_pod and visit our Patreon at patreon.com/magpiespodcast.

The Magpies podcast is GMed and produced by Rhi. Follow me on Twitter @rhiannon42 and check out rpgskillcheck.net for my copy editing and accessibility freelance site.

Blaire Culhane is played by Kim Kogut. Follow her on Twitter @kimdianajones.

Minx is played by Josie. Follow her on Twitter @DragonGirlJosie and watch her art streams at picarto.tv/DragonGirlJosie.

Myra Keel is played by Minna. Follow her on Twitter @mynaminnarr.

The opening and closing theme music is from ‘Trio for Piano, Violin and Viola’ by Kevin MacLeod and is used under a Creative Commons license.

The Blades in the Dark roleplay system is the creation of John Harper and is published by Evil Hat Productions.

##Blooper [0.45.23]

Kim (as Blaire): So, we’re playing pretend and then writing fan fiction about it.

Josie (as Minx): Yes.

Minna: Don’t call me out like this.

[laughter]

Rhi: I feel really seen in this moment.

Kim: Don’t we all? Don’t we all.

Josie: Wow, there’s no IC/OOC barrier this session is there? [laughs]

Rhi: Kim just punched her entire body through the fourth wall.

[laughter]