Transcribed by Tyler (Twitter: @Tyler_MoonSage)
## Intro
Rhi: Welcome back to Duskwall. As always, thank you so much for joining us.
Today’s episode is another holiday. This time the Magpies are celebrating Gratitude with many of their dearest friends, and I really hope you enjoy it.
One content note for the episode: We spend a lot of time describing and discussing food, in case that’s an issue for you.
I do have one important announcement. The Magpies is going to be taking a brief hiatus. We’ll be skipping the next February release and then returning on March 2.
I’ve tried really hard to avoid having any skipped release dates since we began, because I know how many people really look forward to the show. I have also always tried to maintain a healthy backlog of finished episodes so that I have some breathing room if my editing goes more slowly or if we need to skip a recording session. But with all of the stress and exhaustion of the last year, that backlog is more or less gone.
So, I need a little extra time for editing and recording so that I can get back to a place where I’m not anxious about the show. We will be back in exactly one month. I promise. Thank you for sticking with us.
Next, Kim is going to tell us about this month’s Featured Charity:
Kim: This Black History Month we want to remind our listeners that Black lives still matter and that we believe in dismantling racism, and a huge part of doing that is through education. Facing History and Ourselves is an organization that works with underprivileged schools to teach the history of racism and how it affects our world today. They aim to empower kids to take a stand against bigotry and to lead with compassion and empathy.
In order for us to be allies to those facing oppression, it’s important to understand why prejudices in our society exist, and Facing History does just that. To learn more about what they do, visit FacingHistory.org, and to donate, go to give.FacingHistory.org.
Rhi: The new administration has made a lot of strides towards starting to repair the damage of the last four years, but we have to keep pushing our representatives for pandemic relief, for universal health care, for all the things we need to flourish as a society. We have to keep pushing for justice and accountability towards the elected officials and private citizens who supported the attempted coup and who continue to embrace fascism and white supremacy.
The only unity that we need right now is a united front against fascists, and we have to ensure that our elected officials understand and feel the pressure to do what’s right.
Now then, let’s get started. Shall we?
## Story Continues [0:03:02]
Rhi: There are not many holidays in the Empire, and Gratitude is, like so many others, aimed at honoring the Empire, particularly the Immortal Emperor’s ascension to the throne and his salvation of the Shattered Isles in the wake of the Cataclysm. It is also acknowledged as a day to be thankful for all good things in one’s life. Among the wealthy of Duskwall, this day is celebrated with military parades, special services at the Church of Ecstasy, and grand feasts.
Tradition holds that on Gratitude everyone brings a dish or a drink to the gathering, and among the wealthy this is an opportunity to show off the quality of ingredients that you can afford and the skill of your personal cook, but among the city’s working classes the tradition is somewhat different and traces to something older.
The Empire may claim Gratitude as their own as it claims a great many things, but in truth it dates back to an old Skovlan tradition. In this tradition everyone does bring food, but it should be something that you made yourself, or if you can’t cook you bring a drink. The host doesn’t have to provide anything themselves as they’ve provided the space, and it’s a time to gather with friends and family to reflect and celebrate on the year gone by and to be grateful for those friends and family.
And so, on Gratitude of this year, we are gonna open up in the kitchen of The Nest. You all need to head out to The Hound’s Paw relatively soon to get to the festivities that Rigney is hosting. What is the state of the kitchen at this point?
Kim: Oh dear.
Josie: Um… full?
Minna: Mm-hmm.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: I think it is a string of constant nagging from Minx to keep things orderly and not messy.
Minna: [laughs]
Josie: Even though she is the primary one cooking.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Because she’s got a big pot that she’s stirring and something simmering that appears to be some sort of sauce.
Minna: For me, I’m just imagining it being the same vibe as the Friendsgiving at my house which is technically a potluck but everyone just ends up bringing their stuff and cooking it here, and it’s just noisy and happy and, you know, moving around each other. “What temperature does the oven need to be at?” Not that that’s how it works in here, but you know.
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs] I’m picturing more of, like, Myra is trying to get her thing out of the oven but Minx is unwilling to step away fully from the stove, so it’s just this awkward “okay, can you just… just a little bit… I just—” [laughs]
Minna: I think at a certain point Myra just grabs her and moves her.
Josie (as Minx): [yelps]
[laughter]
Minna: Just for a moment.
Josie: And I’m wearing my frilly Kiss the Cook apron.
Minna: Of course.
Rhi: Yes.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: What’s Blaire up to in this scene of organized chaos?
Kim: I feel like Blaire is attempting to help out and trying to clean but is also not really doing any of the cleaning. She’s just moving things to the sink and off counters just so it’s out of the way. You know?
Rhi: [laughing] It’s an appearance of cleaning.
Kim: Yes.
Minna: It’s petting Hex while Hex stands in a puddle of flour.
Kim: Aww.
Rhi: Blaire is doing exactly what I did after dinner tonight which was looked at all of the—I made fried chicken which is just the most dish-intensive meal imaginable. I looked at all of the crap all over my counters, gathered all of the dishes and put them in the sink, and then decided that it was clean enough.
Kim: Yes. That’s exactly what Blaire is doing right now.
Rhi: Are the dishes clean? No. They’re in a messy pile in my sink, but it’s fine. So I support Blaire’s approach here.
Kim: Thank you.
Rhi: So, I think that as the Magpies are finishing up their dishes for this celebration we will cut to elsewhere in the city. What is Seeks preparing?
Waffles: Well, I have a montage. [laughs]
Rhi: Yes, I want to hear the montage.
Minna: [laughs]
Waffles: All right. So we start off and we’re moving through catacombs, as we do. We come to a ladder that leads upwards. We climb the ladder. There’s a time skip to her coming back down the ladder with a bag full of stuff and the sounds of gunshots and guards yelling.
[laughter]
Kim: Oh my God.
Waffles: We cut to her dumping out the mystery bag onto a desk. There’s a bunch of tubes and metal pipes, and she ignites a blowtorch. We cut to an intense shot, reverse shot of her staring down a goat who’s just chewing.
Kim: Oh my God.
Minna: No~
[laughter]
Waffles: Shot, reverse shot, shot, like zooming in on the eyeballs. The goat has the dumbest expression on its face.
Josie: Oh my God.
Waffles: We cut to more welding noises and Seeks turns off a welder and lifts the goggles and picks up a piece of toast and starts eating the toast. Parris passes by, smooches her on the cheek.
Kim: Oh my God~!
Waffles: We cut to her stealing a whole ass chicken and sprinting down the street.
[laughter]
Rhi: Is it… It’s a live chicken?
Waffles: Yep, it’s a live chicken.
Rhi: Yeah.
Kim: Are you holding it over your head and is it flapping your wings like Legend of Zelda?
Waffles: Yes.
Kim: Good.
Rhi: Good. Good.
Waffles: I was imagining a football carry, but that’s much better. We cut back to the pile of stuff that she dumped out of the bag and it’s a pile of blood oranges, which I imagine are the only kind of oranges in Duskwall, because it’s on brand.
Minna: Because it’s goth as shit.
Rhi: Yeah, yeah, that seems correct. Yes.
Waffles: At that point we realize that she’s been baking some manner of fruity dessert.
Minna: Mmm.
Waffles: A bunch of cupcakes come out of the oven.
Kim: So what was the chicken for?
Waffles: Eggs!
Minna: Eggs.
Rhi: Eggs. [laughs]
Kim: Oh, that’s right. They do that.
[laughter]
Waffles: The chicken is in the background just nestled on a little coop.
Kim: Aw.
Minna: Aww~
Josie: Aw!
Waffles: She pulps some of the oranges, puts it in a canister, hooks it up to some other tubes, flips a lever, and pours out a frosting on top of it.
Rhi: [laughs]
Waffles: Then we cut to her setting down the cupcake on an icy floor and saying:
Waffles (as Seeks): This year I am very grateful to have you all in my family. You’re quite the blessing for this lost soul.
Waffles: And smooches the ice.
Waffles (as Seeks): I’m headed off to a party, but I’ll be back later. Good night, sleepy head.
Rhi: Aww.
Josie: Aw.
Waffles: Shoulders a bag that is most likely filled with cupcakes and leaves the secret underground lair where her child is.
Rhi: Aww~
Kim: That was excellent.
Rhi: That was the best fruit cake montage. [laughs]
Waffles: And now has a large bounty on her head. [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah! Yeah, it’s fine. So, we cut to The Hound’s Paw which is open but not open for business. There are lights on, and I think that when the Magpies arrive a few people have gotten there already. Rigney of course is set up behind the bar. As the one hosting he is not obligated to provide any food or drink, because he’s providing the space. That said, he is a bartender with a well-stocked bar, so he is making drinks.
Sophia, who currently works for Rigney, that the Magpies helped out back in Season 1, is kind of organizing the very large table where the food is gonna be set out. She has brought out her food which are kind of a cheese pastry, basically like a cheese Danish, and there’s three large pies with a flour crust sitting off to one side.
There is a slice taken out of one of them, and as you all come in with your various dishes, sitting on the bar off to the side is a large tray where there’s already a drink poured, a slice of what you can see is an eel pie, and one of Sophia’s pastries on it.
This is another tradition around Gratitude is that from each dish that is brought a portion of the food is set aside on sort of a separate plate or tray, depending on how many people you have—Rigney has gotten out a very large tray—and the tradition is that you set aside some for any strangers who may pass by.
Josie & Minna: Aw.
Rhi: So you have some food reserved for everybody. So yeah, the Magpies show up and Rigney… let’s see. You know what? The magpies show up and as each of you come in why don’t you say what you’re bringing.
Josie: Minx comes in last.
Rhi: [laughs]
Minna: I can go first if you want. Myra has brought an egg and goat cheese and fish frittata thing.
Rhi: Ooh.
Minna: Fairly simple but hardy and nice ingredients.
Rhi: Nice.
Kim: Blaire has brought some stuffed mushrooms that are specifically a Tycherosi recipe. I imagine it uses spices and stuffing and all that good stuff, ingredients that are typically only found and/or used in Tycheros, and I don’t know how she got them in Duskwall, but Blaire has friends in high places and I believe in her, so that’s how that happened.
Rhi: Yeah. There’s not a “ton” of Tycherosi in Duskwall, but there’s enough that you can find stuff.
Kim: Yeah. She probably knows the local Tycherosi-owned stores.
Rhi: Yeah. Yeah. And Minx?
Josie: Minx enters last and she’s hefting a very large covered serving bowl. She spurts out a quick greeting like…
Josie (as Minx): Hey Rigney, one moment.
Josie: …so she can plop it down on the table with a heavy thud.
Kim: Oh God.
Josie: And she grandiosely whips the cover off, and she has brought goat ragù.
Kim: Whoa.
Rhi: Ooh…
Josie: Pasta is rare and expensive in Duskwall, and actually, if you wanna make me mark off coin for this I absolutely will.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: But yeah, she’s got tagliatelle pasta which is kind of a thick flat pasta all neatly arranged in there covered in a meaty, steamy goat ragù sauce. In case the listeners cannot tell, I am very Italian.
[laughter]
Rhi: Rigney I think had started to hurry around the bar to help Minx with the large platter, or the large bowl, but once it’s safely down he will help you get everything arranged, and as soon as he turns his back Sophia starts moving everything to different spots, because she knows how this works.
Minna: Aw.
Rhi: Yeah. I think he will kind of start, like, as he’s greeting you he’s kind of collecting the portions to set aside on the tray.
Rhi (as Rigney): [out of breath] Oh good, I’m glad you got here a little early. Most of the rest of the guests haven’t arrived yet. This looks wonderful. How did you all…? You know what, I don’t wanna know how you got the money to pay for this. I’m better off not knowing. But I’m glad that you did. Y’all want drinks?
Josie (as Minx): Honestly, it’s less the money, it was more just where I had to go. Anyway, yes please.
Rhi: [laughs] So I think as Rigney is pouring drinks, Seeks and I assume Parris…?
Minna: Aw, that’s true!
Rhi: [laughs] Good luck, Minna!
Minna: [giggles] Listen, you’re playing a lot more characters than me.
Rhi: Yeah.
Minna: Parris has not shown up on this show before I don’t think.
Josie: No. I have no idea who the fuck you’re talking about.
Kim: No, I don’t know…
Minna: This is Seeks’s—Are they married now? Did they get married?
Waffles: There was a plan. [laughs] I don’t know if that happened.
Minna: There was a plan. I don’t know if they’re still engaged or if they got married.
Rhi: Seeks and Parris are from another Blades in the Dark game where Seeks originated.
Josie: Ah.
Minna: Parris was my character. She was a scoundrel who constantly changed aliases, and then she met Seeks and settled down and stopped changing her name.
Kim & Josie: Aww.
Minna: After they got run out of Duskwall, became pirates for a while, and I guess came back to Duskwall.
[laughter]
Waffles: You ever just become a pirate?
Rhi: So Seeks and Parris come in with blood orange cupcakes.
Waffles: Mm-hmm. It’s kind of like mini pineapple upside-down cakes with frosting, except for it’s blood oranges.
Rhi: Ooh…
Minna: Ooh, yum.
Rhi: That sounds really good actually.
Kim: Mmm.
Minna: I think Parris was the chef’s assistant. I don’t think she can cook.
Rhi: Do you wanna tell us, what does Parris look like? Because this is the first time Parris has actually appeared.
Minna: Parris is a blonde woman. She’s from Skovlan. Colorful flamboyant clothing. Quite a bit taller than Seeks I believe.
Rhi: So yeah, Rigney who is in the midst of making drinks will wave to the two of you.
Rhi (as Rigney): You want drinks as well?
Waffles (as Seeks): Yes please!
Minna (as Parris): Yes. Thank you. That sounds wonderful. … So are you going to introduce me to your friends?
Waffles (as Seeks): This is Rigney, and…
Waffles: I just start taking her around.
[laughter]
Josie (as Minx): Oh, so this is the illustrious spouse. A pleasure.
Minna (as Parris): A pleasure. I’ve heard so much.
Kim (as Blaire): You have?
Waffles (as Seeks): Yes, I tell them all about our adventures.
Josie (as Minx): Only the glorious and beautiful things, I hope.
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, I hope it’s only the good stuff.
Waffles (as Seeks): Mm-hmm!
Minna (as Parris): I don’t believe Seeks is capable of speaking ill of her friends.
Rhi: I’m just imagining the cut back to Seeks being like “oh yeah, they came by the clinic again and they had ‘these’ injuries.”
[laughter]
Kim: Oh no.
Rhi: “And they nearly died in ‘this’ fashion.”
Minna: Doctor-patient confidentiality does not exist in Duskwall.
Rhi: Yeah, HIPAA doesn’t exist yet. It’s fine.
Kim: My God.
Rhi: But yeah, I think as everyone is getting their things settled the door opens again, and Lani and Roxanne come in. Lani is carrying a similarly sized serving dish to what Minx brought, and she smiles at you all and kinda waves her fingers as much as she can in greeting but hands are occupied. She will carry it over and set it down, and when she takes off the lid of hers the spiciness of it you can smell pretty much from halfway across the room. She has brought an Iruvian curry.
Waffles & Josie: Ooh.
Rhi: Roxanne comes in as well and says hello to everyone. She has a tray of spiced cookies that I think Parris will recognize as a Skovlan recipe. I’m imagining them as kind of being similar to a snickerdoodle but thinner and crispier, is my thinking.
Kim: Huh. Yeah.
Josie: Is anyone else really hungry all of a sudden?
Minna: [laughs] I know, right?
Waffles: Yeah.
Kim: No, I just ate. I’m good.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: I ate dinner right before this on purpose. [laughs]
Kim: Same.
Josie: Ah, God damn it. Now I’m starving.
Rhi: Yeah. The two of them sign and say their hellos. Sophia will arrange their plates and set their portions aside on the tray which is already starting to look a little full. Rigney is eyeing it a little worriedly.
Waffles: Seeks constantly has a bowl of something in her hands. [laughs]
Rhi: Sophia will mention as she’s arranging things:
Rhi (as Sophia): Oh, um, make sure to try some of the eel pie. The Evermars sent it with their regards.
Josie (as Minx): Ooh, delightful.
Kim (as Blaire): Aw.
Rhi: But yeah, the eel pies appear to be made with wheat flour as opposed to a mushroom-based flour which is what most things are in your usual diet.
Kim: Wow.
Rhi: In addition to the eel there’s a lot of vegetables and things in there which are also not a terribly common sight.
Josie: Mm-hmm.
Rhi: Yeah. I think some more folks start trickling in. Friends of Rigney’s are coming in with their food. I think folks are chatting, somebody breaks out a deck of cards and gets a card game going at one of the tables.
Minna: Parris is definitely involved in that and it’s definitely a bad idea.
[laughter]
Rhi: I think the next guest that you all know who arrive are… Nyryx shows up with a bottle of wine followed closely by Bazso who has a bottle of whiskey.
Minna: [squeaking in shock and delight] Oh my God!
Kim: [gasps] it’s happening!
Rhi: It’s all happening. They’re gonna be in a room together.
Kim: Holy shit.
Rhi: They didn’t show up together, but they’re coming in talking and laughing, and Nyryx just shakes her head and clinks her bottle against Bazso’s.
Josie: [laughing] Aww. I think Minx gets stars in her eyes.
Josie (as Minx): [gasps] It’s been so long!
Josie: And I think she rushes over and loops both of them in a big hug and gives Nyryx a kiss.
Rhi (as Nyryx): [startled] Oh, uh… hi!
Josie (as Minx): Oh, it’s been so long since the three of us have even been in a room together. What has it been, like four years now?
Rhi (as Bazso): [choking] Yeah… Arm. Throat.
Josie (as Minx): I know you hate it, Bazso, but that’s why I do it. I love you.
Rhi (as Bazso): I can’t breathe.
Josie: [laughs] Minx eventually lets off.
Rhi (as Bazso): [deep breath]
Josie (as Minx): Sorry, I’m just so excited because it’s Gratitude and everyone gets to be here and AHH!
Rhi (as Bazso): Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it has been… a while. Did you cook something? You were the only one out of us who could ever cook.
Josie (as Minx): Yes. I made the ragù. Come try some.
Rhi (as Nyryx): Ooh~
Rhi: Nyryx eagerly bounds off. Bazso follows, muttering.
Rhi (as Bazso): Showoff.
Josie: [laughs]
Josie (as Minx): You know it, Bazso.
Rhi: So yeah.
Waffles: Seeks has fortune telling gear.
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: Ooh, really?
Waffles: Mm-hmm.
Rhi: Let me… Oh, you still have the link to my tarot deck, right Waffles? Let me grab it.
Waffles: But also she has a custom tarot deck.
Rhi: Oh, all right, well…
Waffles: Because I have a custom tarot deck.
Rhi: Knock yourself out.
Waffles: It’s the Tarot of the Hours from the Cultist Simulator video game.
Kim: Can Blaire have her fortune read?
Waffles: Blaire can totally have her fortune read.
Kim: Yay.
Waffles: Yeah. It replaces all of the Major Arcana with weird shit. Weirder than usual.
Rhi & Kim: Yay!
Waffles: I am in-universe saying it’s from the Dagger Isles where she grew up.
Kim: Nice. Okay.
Rhi: I like it.
Kim: Blaire’s like wiggling in her seat, very excited.
Josie: Aw.
Waffles (as Seeks): All right. One, The Moth.
Kim (as Blaire): The Moth!
Waffles (as Seeks): Yes. The Moth desires midnight. The first god to bleed lives in the woods, so it has usually to do with night time, the changing over of days and the like. So, the second card is the Wolf Divided.
Kim (as Blaire): Oh~
Kim: [giggling] Inside me there are two wolves.
Minna: No…
[laughter]
Waffles (as Seeks): Basically inside you there are two wolves, but more or less I see in order to do one thing you must give up another. Our third, The Sun in Rags. So, midday. So, it looks to me, if I am reading this correctly… there are two sides of you or one you present during the day and one you present at night, and in order to move forward you’re going to have to reconcile the differences in those.
Kim (as Blaire): Well, I don’t feel like I’m too different during the day and during the night.
Waffles (as Seeks): They are metaphorical days and nights.
Kim (as Blaire): What’s that supposed to mean?
Waffles (as Seeks): That means… hmm.
Waffles: Thinks. [laughs]
[laughter]
Minna: Like your public persona and your private persona?
Waffles (as Seeks): You present yourself differently to different people, which I think is something everyone does.
Kim (as Blaire): Well, I mean, I don’t know about that. I feel like I’m the same to everyone, or I try to be.
Waffles (as Seeks): Maybe I’m bad at reading cards. I’m better with tea. You want to do tea?
Minna: Aw!
Josie: [laughs]
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah! Let’s do tea.
Waffles: Throws the cards in the bag, pulls out tea.
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh, let me go get hot water.
Kim (as Blaire): Okay!
Rhi: [laughing] I love the idea of Seeks just running behind the bar into the kitchen. Rigney’s like:
Rhi (as Rigney): Ah—Okay… All right, it’s fine.
Kim: [laughs]
Kim (as Blaire): Oh, it’s fine. Yeah, no, she just needs some hot water, Rigs. It’s good.
Rhi (as Rigney): All right.
Kim (as Blaire): Thanks!
Rhi: What are Minx and Myra up to? Is Minx still just attached to…?
Josie: You put the both of them in front of me together, so I think she spends a lot of time in that trio before branching out.
Minna: Beautiful.
Kim: Yay.
Rhi: Yeah~ So I think, Myra, you notice as the door opens again… well, the door starts to open. It opens a couple inches and then falls shut again, and then opens a little bit and falls shut, and then you just hear a muffled:
Rhi (as ???): Can I get a hand?!
Minna: Myra goes to investigate and also open the door.
Rhi: On the other side of the door is Kit, from the Historical Society.
Minna: [squeaks in delight]
Kim: Oh…
Rhi: Who is holding another large serving bowl, the lid of which has been slightly knocked askew, and you can smell potatoes and onions and spices. He’s just like:
Rhi (as Kit): I, I don’t, I don’t have enough hands to get the door.
Minna (as Myra): Oh, I’ve got you.
Rhi (as Kit): Thank you.
Rhi: [laughs] He just looks very frazzled.
Minna (as Myra): Is this your only Gratitude celebration or are you going from place to place?
Rhi (as Kit): I think I’m doing this one this year. The family one is awkward.
Minna (as Myra): Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.
Rhi (as Kit): Well, they just don’t approve of my work very much, and it’s just exhausting, so when I got the invite for alternate arrangements this sounded like it’d be a lot nicer.
Minna (as Myra): Well, we’re glad to have you. It’s a good mixed crowd here.
Rhi: Yeah. I think he’s kind of nodding and looking around and then just sort of leans in.
Rhi (as Kit): [hushed] Is everyone here criminals?
Minna (as Myra): [chuckling] No, they’re not all criminals.
Rhi: [laughing] Although, if you do a quick head count…
Josie: A good majority.
Rhi: It’s like… let me look at who’s here so far.
Minna: I mean… bartenders and criminals.
Kim: What is the collective body count in this room? Now that I’m thinking about it. How many people have all of us together have killed?
Rhi: [grinning] Shh, shh, don’t worry about it, it’s fine. Nyryx is also not engaged in criminal enterprise.
Minna (as Myra): Would you like to be introduced to the non-criminals here?
Rhi (as Kit): No, no, I’m just… I’m just curious, and hopefully there won’t be a Bluecoat raid.
Minna (as Myra): I don’t think there will. Well… I don’t think there will be. I think we’re safe.
Rhi (as Kit): Okay.
Minna (as Myra): Um… have you met Rigney?
Rhi (as Kit): I haven’t!
Minna (as Myra): I’ll introduce you.
Waffles (as Seeks): Excuse me. Pardon me.
Waffles: I come through with tea.
[laughter]
Rhi: Introductions are made, and I think Kit will fill up a small bowl with the potato and onion soup that he brought. As he wedges it in onto the tray that’s set aside he will glance at Myra.
Rhi (as Kit): Do you know much about the history of this particular tradition of ours?
Minna (as Myra): I’ve read a little bit about it but only in works that aren’t really related to it.
Minna: Wait, out of character. I wrote something that involved Gratitude, and I can’t remember if it was based on Kit’s work or not. [laughs]
Rhi: I don’t remember either.
Minna: It’s okay.
Kim: Nerd.
Minna: Can I look it up? Is that okay?
Rhi: Yeah. Yeah.
Kim: Nerd!
Minna: Okay, to be fair, it is now no longer canon because I had a different origin for Gratitude, but that’s fine. I’m just curious.
Kim: Oh my God, you freaking nerd.
Minna: Uh-huh!
Kim: [laughs]
Minna (as Myra): I did read a little bit about it in your book about how Duskwall became Akorosi, but I don’t know much outside of that.
Rhi: He lights up.
[laughter]
Rhi: He’s just beaming, because someone read his book.
Kim: Freaking nerds.
Rhi (as Kit): Oh! Well, so, I have a more in-depth study of some of the cultural traditions in another book that I’m working on, sort of a follow-up. It’s really fascinating.
It comes from sort of the Skovlan tradition. We generally think of it as setting it out for strangers who may pass by, for unexpected guests really, but apparently before the Cataclysm Skovlan had this very rich tradition of these sort of trickster spirits, sort of. Not spirits like we know them, it’s a difficult concept to translate ,but these supernatural entities that weren’t quite ghosts or demons, but they would come and sometimes play harmless tricks but sometimes they would steal your livestock or swap out your children for a fake.
Minna: [breathless] I love this.
Rhi (as Kit): You would have to leave out food to appease them. There’s some theories and some evidence that that’s where this tradition comes from; you set out this food to appease passing tricksters so that they will not put curses upon your guests.
Minna (as Myra): That’s fascinating. Well, now we’ve got the tricksters inside the celebration.
Rhi (as Kit): The histories don’t really address that particular thing. I’m assuming that no one here is going to put curses on anyone, although… are they reading tea leaves over there?
Minna (as Myra): They are. Oh, you might want to meet Seeks.
[laughter]
Waffles (as Seeks): So this is either—
Kim (as Blaire): So this one means you’re shy…
Minna: Listen. Kit is investigating fairies. I think Seeks is a selki, isn’t she?
Rhi: [laughs]
Minna: Mm-hmm. Yep, basically.
Rhi: Pretty much, but Kit does not recognize them as fairies.
Minna: Oh no, for sure.
Rhi: That information is lost.
Minna: I just think Myra wants to introduce Kit to Seeks and just see what comes out of that. [laughs]
Rhi: Well, how is the tea reading going, Seeks?
Waffles (as Seeks): Ah! This one is either dragon or duck.
Waffles: Flips the cup around.
Waffles (as Seeks): Do you know any dragons or ducks?
Kim (as Blaire): Um…
Waffles (as Seeks): Or people you would refer to as dragons and/or ducks? Or dragon ducks?
Kim (as Blaire): Dragon duck… Dragon ducks actually, yes. Dragons and/or ducks, no.
Waffles (as Seeks): Well, watch out for dragon ducks.
[laughter]
Kim (as Blaire): Okay. Great. I think this one, that I have right here, it’s trying to say either you’re really shy or, um… you need to watch out for salads. So don’t eat any salads here.
Waffles (as Seeks): Well, good thing I don’t eat salads.
Kim (as Blaire): Great.
Waffles (as Seeks): And I am also very shy, so I think it’s a double.
Kim (as Blaire): Okay. Sounds good!
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh, hello.
Rhi (as Kit): Hello. Um… I’m a friend of Myra’s, and I’m with the Society for Northern Void Sea History. Well, Myra here thought that it would be good if we met. Where are you from?
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh, here and there.
Rhi (as Kit): … I see.
Minna: [laughs]
Waffles (as Seeks): Do you want to have your fortune read?
Rhi (as Kit): You know what, why not?
Minna: [giggles excitedly]
Rhi: So Kit will sit down to have his fortune read while eating… something.
Waffles (as Seeks): Okay. Drink this.
Rhi (as Kit): Oh!
Minna: Thank you for throwing a nerd at me. Apparently this game is I make up OCs and Rhi plays them for me.
Rhi: Yep.
Kim: I mean, isn’t that all this is for all of us?
Minna: Yeah.
Rhi: Yup. Let’s jump back over to Minx. What do you think the trio are talking and/or arguing about? Has it devolved into an argument yet?
Josie: I think Bazso is genuinely arguing and Minx is not genuinely arguing.
Minna: [laughs]
Kim: Oh no.
Josie: And she’s just teasing.
Kim: It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without an argument.
Josie: Uh-huh.
Minna: That’s an amazing dynamic.
Josie: [laughs] I think this is familiar to Nyryx as well, like this is just how we are.
Minna: Passionate siblings.
Rhi: Yeah.
Josie: In a casual setting. But what are they arguing about is the question.
Rhi: Yeah.
Minna: Whether Bazso is dressed appropriately for the occasion.
Rhi: Perfect! Yes.
Josie: Yes.
Kim: Oh my God.
Rhi (as Bazso): There isn’t a fucking dress code for Gratitude, Minx! What is wrong with you?
Josie (as Minx): No, it’s not a “code.” Like, there’s not a standard you need to meet. It’s just so… it’s so open and flowing, why not branch out a little? Get something flirtatious.
Rhi (as Bazso): I… Flirtatious?! Have you met me?!
Minna: [laughs]
Josie (as Minx): I would—yes, I have, and we’ve seen all sorts of different sides of each other. I’d love to see you in a deep V.
Kim: Oh my God.
Rhi: [delighted] Nyryx is standing just off to the side and just barely, through… it is only because she has years of practice in decorum that the woman doesn’t do a spit take.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: She’s just sipping her wine and chokes on it.
Josie: Do I know if Bazso has a boyfriend?
Rhi: Bazso is currently single.
Josie: Okay.
Rhi: Bazso… is more or less married to his work.
Josie: Uh-huh.
Kim: Oh no.
Minna: Is Bazso looking or is it usually just an accident if he ends up in a relationship?
Rhi: Bazso is the kind… I think Bazso has that—yeah, it’s the disaster gay energy where he does not realize that he’s being flirted with until somebody grabs him by the shoulders and is like…
Minna: Oh God.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: [emphatically] “I. Like. You. In a romantic sort of way.”
[laughter]
Rhi: And then he’s just blindsided by it every time.
Kim: He just bluescreens and then doesn’t think about it ever again.
Rhi: “Holy shit! What?!” Yeah, so Nyryx just chokes on her drink at the thought of Bazso in a deep V. Bazso is… stunned into silence for a moment by this concept.
Josie (as Minx): I’m sure you’d have someone to keep you company outside the office. You know, that can’t hurt.
Rhi (as Bazso): I…
Josie (as Minx): Or no, you know what, deep V isn’t you, but something… Hmm, like a nice suitcoat. Something casual but approachable, you know?
Rhi (as Bazso): Are you trying to set me up with people again?
Minna: [laughs]
Josie (as Minx): Maybe~
Rhi (as Bazso): That’s never gone well, Minx.
Josie (as Minx): I will not confirm or deny that is what I am attempting to do.
Rhi: Swivels around to look at Nyryx.
Rhi (as Bazso): Nyryx, you have to tell me if she’s trying this shit again. You know it never goes well.
Minna: Does Minx have someone in mind?
Josie: No.
Minna: [laughs] Minx is just messing with Bazso.
Rhi: She’s just making him paranoid.
Waffles: But what else are parties for if not setting up your friends?
Rhi: Yeah.
Minna: And/or torturing them.
Rhi: Nyryx I think glances back and forth between the two of you.
Rhi (as Nyryx): I don’t know Bazso, it has been a while, and you’re really too attached to your work. I think it would be better if you got out sometimes.
Rhi: And he just throws his hands in the air and stomps off to refill his plate.
Minna: [laughs] “I came here to have a good time and I’m feeling so attacked right now!”
Rhi: Yes. Yes. That is Bazso’s—That’s gonna be his mood the entire night.
Josie: Uh-huh.
Rhi: After he stomps off, Nyryx just shakes her head.
Rhi (as Nyryx): I guess I could say it’s nice to see that some things don’t change, but I think part of me was hoping that maybe the two of you would have grown up a little.
Minna: [giggles]
Josie (as Minx): That is an awful lot to expect of me, dear.
Rhi (as Nyryx): [exhales] Yeah, I know.
Josie (as Minx): [giggles] I love you.
Rhi (as Nyryx): I love you too~
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi (as Nyryx): [sighs] It is nice having the three of us together again, though.
Josie (as Minx): It really is. This time last year I wasn’t certain we would be able to.
Rhi (as Nyryx): Neither was I. I’m just glad we were able to pry him away from his desk.
Josie (as Minx): Yeah.
Rhi: Bazso has refilled his plate and comes stomping back over to:
Rhi (as Bazso): And another thing!
[laughter]
Rhi: Yeah, so… at this point the door opens and a young woman wearing a Cypher armband comes in bearing several packages in her arms, and Rigney rushes over to help her.
Minna: [nervous] Uh…
Rhi (as Cypher): Yes, thank you. These are from a few different places all headed here… Oh! There’s a, uh, I have a note here for a… Lizete Booker.
Minna (as Myra): Oh!
Kim: Who?
Minna (as Myra): I know Lizete! I’ll take it to her.
Rhi (as Cypher): Uh, all right.
Rhi: Hands it over to Myra. [laughs] Rigney will tip this poor woman quite generously, send her on her way. The items that have been sent, one of them is from Nessa, the artist friend.
Minna: Aww.
Rhi: It’s a packet of cookies that she and her mom made. She also has sent a little Magpie painting that she did.
Kim: Aww.
Minna: That’s so sweet!
Josie: Aww!
Rhi: There is also an herb pie that Amancio has sent.
Minna: [happy hum]
Rhi: Which is mostly just a pie—it’s a savory pie that’s stuffed with herbs and cheese. Then there’s this note, to Lizete, which is the alias that Myra used with Jeren.
Minna: Mm-hmm. It was a while before Jeren knew that her name was Myra.
[laughter]
Rhi: Mm-hmm. The note is pretty brief, and it just says:
Rhi (as Jeren): Sorry I couldn’t make it. I’m still on administrative leave under suspicion of my association with you and the rest of your crew, and I think that it’s best if I keep my distance to avoid bringing further suspicion. Enjoy the wine. Jeren.
Minna: I think honestly the only surprise here is that he sent something nice?
Rhi: [chuckles]
Minna: [grinning] Not that I think he’s not the kind of person who sends people wine, but I think she sent him the invite to let him know that he was welcome but absolutely no part of her felt that he was gonna come, so she just nods and then she looks at the wine and smiles.
Rhi: Yep. It’s not a bad bottle of wine. Do we wanna pop back over to this nerd…?
Minna: Oh my God.
Kim: The nerd table?
Rhi: Getting his fortune told.
Waffles: Yeah! I got more.
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh, this kind of looks like an eye. Do you have vision problems?
Rhi: Does Kit wear glasses? I’ve always pictured Kit wearing glasses.
Minna: I think he wears—I picture Kit wearing glasses. I don’t know if I’ve described him as such, but none of that’s published anyway.
Rhi: Yeah.
Minna: So… Kit wears glasses. [laughs] Kit is wearing glasses right now.
Waffles (as Seeks): Well you may need to get those replaced soon or there’s something in front of you you’re not seeing.
Rhi: Lowers, like, does the thing where he lowers his glasses and squints and then puts them back up.
Rhi (as Kit): Okay…?
Waffles (as Seeks): Do you have children?
Rhi (as Kit): No.
Waffles (as Seeks): Hmm.
Minna: [laughs]
Waffles (as Seeks): Look out for children.
Kim: That’s so ominous.
[laughter]
Minna: So ominous!
Rhi (as Kit): That’s, uh… vague and disturbing.
Waffles (as Seeks): I don’t know, just looks like a child. Or a little man. Beware little men, or children.
Rhi: [laughs] I think Kit reaches into his pocket and is pulling out a notebook.
Rhi (as Kit): Where… Where did you learn to—
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh, from my mother.
Rhi (as Kit): Do you know where she learned it?
Waffles (as Seeks): No.
Minna: [giggles]
Waffles (as Seeks): Also, and beware summoning things.
Rhi (as Kit): Oh… How general of summoning? Like, if I summon a cab or a gondola?
Waffles (as Seeks): Um… I don’t know.
Rhi (as Kit): Hmm… maybe I’ll walk home tonight.
Waffles (as Seeks): Probably for the best.
Waffles: I slide the teacup back over.
[laughter]
Rhi: Kit just wants to know where Seeks has gained all of her knowledge! For research!
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh, here and there.
Minna: [laughing] Here and there!
Rhi: [laughing] Kit, crying in historian.
Minna: And like, Kit specifically comes from a group of historians that has started to rely a little bit more on folklore as a source.
Rhi: So, the party is in full swing. Folks are mingling and eating. There’s several games that have started around different tables, dice games and card games. Somebody has pulled out a checkers board. The door swings open again, and Kay walks in.
Josie: Oh…
Rhi: Bearing a large cast-iron skillet in one arm and is holding the door open behind her for one Nicholas Firebird.
Minna: Yes!
Kim: [gasps] Yeah!
Rhi: Who looks a little nonplussed at this extremely tall woman that he’s coming in behind. He’s just sort of like, oh… hello.
Minna: Oh my.
Rhi: You’re very tall.
[giggling]
Waffles: The standard reaction.
Rhi: Yeah, that’s how—Most people’s reaction to Kay is “oh… you go all the way up, huh?”
Minna: [laughs]
Rhi: So, Kay’s entrance into the room, she holds the door open for Nicholas and then turns and is just like:
Rhi (as Kay): Hey, I made it!
Rhi: And half the room is like “HEY” even though they don’t all know her. They’re just like all right, cool, somebody else is here.
Minna: Responding to the energy.
Rhi: Yeah. She has brought a seafood fried rice type thing that gets wedged onto the third table that Rigney has added to the buffet line. Nicholas has brought a trio of roast chickens which… is expensive, because you don’t usually kill chickens. Chickens are an infinite source of food as long as they can lay eggs.
Josie: Mm-hmm.
Rhi: So this is pricy. But he will set his down and bring a plate over to the tray and then. Most people who have been doing this have been going around the front of the bar to add their stuff to the tray. He goes behind the bar, passes behind Rigney and whispers something in Rigney’s ear, and Rigney gets very flustered.
Josie: Gay!
[laughter]
Josie: Minx doesn’t say that, but she gives Rigney a “good job” look.
Rhi: Yeah.
Josie: “I approve.”
Rhi: Rigney just shoots you a look of like: [through gritted teeth] “Shut up. Don’t. Don’t call attention to it.”
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: But I think Nicholas will come out from behind the bar and make his way over to the magpies.
Rhi (as Nicholas): Oh, it’s so good to see you again. How have things been? Caelan has very purposely not told me much about your misadventures, so probably best to keep that answer vague.
Josie (as Minx): You know, it’s always difficult because I love to boast about how awesome we are, but things have been fine, yes.
Kim (as Blaire): But how have you been? I don’t think… We haven’t seen you since the score we did together. Or, the score we did for you.
Rhi (as Nicholas): Oh, yes-yes. No, things have been going quite well. I have been providing a bit of pro bono advice to Nyryx. I thought I saw her here… Oh yes, there she is.
Rhi: He waves across the room to Nyryx who waves back.
Rhi (as Nicholas): Yeah, just giving a bit of advice on making sure that their operation is all ironclad, legally speaking. Otherwise, you know, work has been as it always is. But anyway, it’s good to see all of you alive and well and out of jail. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend the rest of the night trying to get Caelan flustered like that again, because that was hilarious.
Minna (as Myra): [laughing] Good luck.
Rhi: Sets off.
Josie (as Minx): You’re doing good work, Nick.
Rhi: A man on a mission.
[laughter]
Josie: Minx gives a little salute.
Rhi: Godspeed, sir! Does anybody else want to do fortune readings with Seeks?
Minna: I mean, if we’re offering. [giggles] I know this is the second holiday with card readings.
Rhi: Listen, it’s very good.
Minna (as Myra): Seeks.
Josie: I kind of want to drag Kay over.
Minna: [gasps]
Rhi: Oh yeah, Kay and Seeks have met, I think.
Josie: Mm-hmm.
Waffles: Yes.
Josie: And get Kay’s fortune read. I think Minx approaches…
Josie (as Minx): Hey, glad you could make it.
Josie: …and just kind of gently brushes their hands together.
Rhi (as Kay): Yeah. I mean, I can’t stay for too long, I have a few of these that I’m heading to and I have to keep swinging back home to pick up more food.
Josie (as Minx): Though you have an advantage in doing that over us.
Rhi (as Kay): yes.
Josie (as Minx): [laughs]
Rhi (as Kay): Yeah, no, it’s great to see so many people here.
Josie (as Minx): This is the most populous Gratitude I’ve ever had, really. Mostly it’s just been me and the magpies or me and Bazso and Nyryx or something like that, but now we have everyone, and we have Seeks! Do you wanna get your fortune read?
Rhi (as Kay): Ooh! Yes.
Josie (as Minx): Well first try the ragù, but then get it done. [laughs]
Rhi: Collects a plate of ragù.
Rhi (as Kay): Oh! Seeks, we’ve met, I think.
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh hello! Yes.
Rhi (as Kay): Yes.
Rhi: Sits down with her plate of ragù.
Waffles (as Seeks): Okay, drink this.
Waffles: Pour. Stir. Hand.
Rhi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Kay): Ooh, tea leaves. Haven’t had this done for a while. We usually cast bones in the Gondoliers.
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh. I have not learned bones.
Rhi (as Kay): You should stop by our headquarters sometime. We can compare notes.
Waffles (as Seeks): Okay!
Josie: Oh…
Waffles (as Seeks): I need to make notes.
Rhi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Kay): Metaphorical notes. It’s okay if you don’t actually have anything written down. It’s all pretty much oral tradition for us too.
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh, okay. Mm-hmm.
Rhi: So Kay will finish her cup of tea and pass it back.
Waffles (as Seeks): Uh… Do you know any three-headed dogs?
Rhi (as Kay): Three-headed? No.
Waffles (as Seeks): Okay.
Josie (as Minx): But multiple-headed?
Waffles (as Seeks): Or stacked on top of each other?
Waffles: I point to something that kind of looks like dogs if you squint.
[laughter]
Rhi (as Kay): I mean, I did know somebody who had a two-headed dog once. I guess one of the other Gondoliers just adopted some puppies, and they tend to sleep in a pile.
Waffles (as Seeks): You might need to get a puppy.
Rhi: [laughs] Kay looks very contemplative.
Rhi (as Kay): I’d want a big dog, and I don’t know how well they’d do in a gondola.
Waffles (as Seeks): Hmm.
Rhi (as Kay): But I’ll keep it in mind.
Josie (as Minx): But at the same time, big dogs are better at swimming, just in case.
Rhi (as Kay): That’s true. Anything else, or is the tea just telling me that I should get a puppy?
Waffles (as Seeks): Oh, it’s just mentioning dogs. I don’t know about the puppy, but maybe. Let’s see.
Rhi (as Kay): I’m gonna interpret it to mean that I should get a dog.
Waffles (as Seeks): That sounds good. Also, uh… beware ghosts, or death cults, or…
Rhi (as Kay): I mean…
Josie (as Minx): I mean, I feel like those are things to be weary of.
Rhi (as Kay): Yeah.
Waffles (as Seeks): More so than usual.
Rhi (as Kay): Oh, all right.
Waffles (as Seeks): Or you’re going to meet a cool ghost? Or be a ghost.
Minna: Don’t be a ghost.
Rhi (as Kay): Hopefully not that last one.
Minna: [laughs]
Waffles (as Seeks): Or get rid of a ghost? Something to do with ghosts.
Rhi (as Kay): All right. Well, I mean, that’s pretty normal in my line of work.
Josie (as Minx): I’m certain we can hook you up with a cool ghost if you really want to meet one.
Kim (as Blaire): I could hook you up with a cool ghost! I could hook you up with a lot of cool ghosts. I know a lot of cool ghosts. They would love to meet you.
[laughter]
Waffles (as Seeks): Blaire knows a lot of ghosts.
Kim (as Blaire): I can hook you up. What are you into?
Rhi (as Kay): I, I’m not… I don’t know if I need to meet a cool ghost.
[laughter]
Kim (as Blaire): Well, you could meet… Are you into, like, bad ghosts? Because I could introduce you to some of those too. Do you want someone who will treat you right or do you kinda like a bad boy?
Josie (as Minx): Now this is starting to sound like matchmaking, Blaire.
Kim (as Blaire): Well, for ghosts, yeah. I know a lot of ghosts.
Josie (as Minx): No, I meant—
Rhi (as Kay): So what else is in the teacup?!
[laughter]
Kim (as Blaire): But… don’t be shy. A lot of them are super nice, and they would be like so lucky to have you. You’re a catch.
Waffles (as Seeks): Mm-hmm.
Rhi (as Kay): T-Thank you, Blaire.
Josie (as Minx): It’s true. She is.
Rhi (as Kay): Are you—I’m sorry, I just need a point of clarification. By “a ghost would be so lucky to have me,” you don’t mean possessing, right? That’s not what you’re implying here?
Kim (as Blaire): No! No~!
Rhi (as Kay): Okay.
Kim (as Blaire): No.
Waffles (as Seeks): No, that is not the kind of relationship you should get into.
Rhi (as Kay): No, no.
Waffles (as Seeks): Mutual respect is a good bedrock.
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, exactly, and I know so many ghost who would like, you know, meet that criteria.
Waffles (as Seeks): Also, would you consider yourself a protector or in need of protecting? Asking for this smudge here.
Rhi (as Kay): Uh…
Rhi: Glances at the Magpies.
Rhi (as Kay): Probably more the protector side, I think.
Waffles (as Seeks): Well, keep it up. It will come into play.
Waffles: I hand back the cup.
Rhi (as Kay): Yeah, I kinda figured.
[laughter]
Rhi (as Kay): All right, so… maybe I should get a dog that can fight ghosts. I think I’m gonna get a ghost-fighting dog.
Kim (as Blaire): [gasps] Oh no!
Minna: Kay just becomes a Hound.
Rhi: [laughs] Yep!
Minna: [laughs]
Kim (as Blaire): [whines]
Rhi: I’m just setting up for the Kay spinoff series. She’s gonna have a comic book line.
Kim: Kay: A Star Wars Story.
[laughter]
Rhi: Yep! The Magpies Cinematic Universe.
Minna: A Duskwall Story.
Waffles: The MCU.
Rhi: Yeah, it still works.
Kim: Ten series projected for Disney Plus for the next couple years.
Rhi: So, I think as the conversation with Kay kind of breaks up, as Kay is now contemplatively staring at the various sketches of dogs on the walls of The Hound’s Paw, because as we so often forget this is a sports bar for dog racing.
Kim: Yes.
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: There are many good boys and girls on the walls.
Rhi: So there’s dog racing memorabilia all over the place. It is the cutest sports bar in the world.
Josie: Mm-hmm.
Rhi: But yeah, I think Myra, as you are heading over to refill your plate and/or glass, you bump into Bazso…
Minna: [laughs]
Rhi: …who looks like he’s… he’s not drunk, but he’s solidly into tipsy. He’s having a good time. He’s drank enough that he’s finally loosened the fuck up a little.
Minna (as Myra): You look like you’re having a good time.
Rhi (as Bazso): I know. It’s terrible, isn’t it?
Minna (as Myra): [laughs] I know. So very strange.
Rhi (as Bazso): [sighs] Minx and Nyryx would not leave me alone until I agreed to come, but… eh, I’m glad that they were so persistent. This has been nice. Weird. You all have a lot of weird friends, but nice.
Minna (as Myra): Well, I think that says something about you too, doesn’t it?
Rhi (as Bazso): Ah shit.
[laughter]
Rhi: Takes another sip of his drink.
Rhi (as Bazso): I guess you’re not wrong. I’ve been seeing you all in the papers a bit more.
Minna (as Myra): Well, it helps to have friendly members of the press now.
Rhi (as Bazso): Yeah, well what they’re writing about you in the bigger paper isn’t nearly so friendly.
Minna (as Myra): Eh… yeah.
Rhi (as Bazso): Just, uh… try not to get Minx killed, all right? It’d break Nyryx’s heart.
Minna (as Myra): Oh please, you know it would be Minx getting herself killed.
Rhi (as Bazso): Well don’t let her do that either.
Minna (as Myra): No. No. Obviously I’m not planning to, I don’t want anything to happen to any of my friends, but…
Rhi (as Bazso): Well, it’s just… you all seem to be tangling with some pretty high targets.
Minna (as Myra): Yep, that’s a true thing.
Rhi: Clinks his glass against yours.
Rhi (as Bazso): Well, I still don’t entirely understand your whole thing, but glad it’s working for you. [sighs] Do you think my outfit’s okay?
[laughter]
Minna: I think Myra looks at her own outfit which is very similar in vibe.
Minna (as Myra): Yes Bazso, I think your outfit’s okay. Is this about Minx?
Rhi (as Bazso): All right, good. Of course it’s about Minx. Who else is gonna come to this type of party—
Minna (as Myra): What did she say?
Josie: I…
Rhi: If Minx wants to crash this conversation…
Minna: [laughs]
Josie: No, she’s not crashing the conversation, she’s looking to see that it’s happening and sneaks over to the bar by Nick and Rigney.
Josie (as Minx): Are you two open?
Rhi: [cackles]
Minna: Oh my God. Please, do not.
Josie: [laughs]
Minna: Oh my God. [covers her mouth]
Josie (as Minx): I apologize if that’s rude to ask.
Rhi: [laughing] They look at each other, look at you, look back at each other.
Rhi (as Rigney): Um… Minx, I didn’t think you were interested—
Josie (as Minx): No-no-no, not me, just…
Josie: She kind of, without looking at Bazso, nudges her head towards him and cocks her eyebrows.
Minna: [laughs breathlessly]
Rhi: They both look over. Nicholas is kinda like “eh,” contemplative shrug. Rigney shakes his head a little.
Rhi (as Rigney): That is a bigger conversation that we need to have about the status of our relationship.
Josie (as Minx): Okay. I don’t want to interfere with anything. I’m just being playful.
Rhi: Nicholas glances over again and is like:
Rhi (as Nicholas): Well, if it would be funnier to tell him that we are…
Rhi: And Rigney’s like:
Rhi (as Rigney): Nope! Nope! Nope!
[laughter]
Minna: I love Nick’s chaotic energy!
Rhi: Rigney needs it in his life.
Minna: So I think Myra had just asked Bazso what Minx said about his wardrobe.
Rhi: I think it cuts back over to him in mid-rant.
Rhi (as Bazso): She said something flirtatious? A deep V?! I don’t even know what that is!
Josie: [laughs]
Minna (as Myra): No, it’s when you unbutton the shirt in the style of, you know, those swashbuckling novels.
Rhi (as Bazso): Ugh! Why would she think that would look good on me? Why would she think that’s something I would want to do?
Minna (as Myra): I don’t know why she would think it’ something you would want to do, but it probably would look good on you.
Rhi (as Bazso): Ugh.
Minna (as Myra): But I understand if you don’t want to go for flirtatious, because I’m not into that look either.
Rhi (as Bazso): All right. Well, if she brings it up again, I’m going to tell her that you said I look fine.
Minna (as Myra): [grinning] I don’t think that’s gonna help your case.
Rhi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Bazso): Damn it, you’re probably right. … I’m gonna go find Nyryx.
Minna (as Myra): I’m gonna go worry about her trying to persuade me into a deep V.
[laughter]
Rhi: He pauses and, like… gives you a really sincere sympathetic look as he pats you on the shoulder and then will continue on into the party. Just like, “I’m so sorry, my friend. I hope you have the strength for the coming battle,” is the vibe.
Minna: Myra almost has to be drunk at this point just because of how punchy I got in the last like ten minutes.
Rhi: It’s all good.
Minna: It’s fine.
Rhi: It’s a drinking party.
Minna: They’re both tipsy and having fun.
Rhi: Yeah.
Waffles (as Seeks): I would look great in a deep V. I look great… all the time.
Minna: I think Parris is over there and hears this. She frequently wears deep Vs anyway.
Minna (as Parris): Yes! Do you want help?
Waffles (as Seeks): Yes.
Minna (as Parris): Yes!
Josie: [laughs]
Waffles (as Seeks): Yes.
Rhi: There will be a shopping montage tomorrow.
Minna: It won’t be the first one for them.
Rhi: So, the party continues, food is eaten, drinks are had. The Magpies and Seeks drift through the room checking in on old friends, meeting new ones. A couple hours pass and the energy is starting to shift into that kind of “oh God, I’ve had so much food and I just want to nap” state. It’s not quite where the energy is totally gone, but it’s starting to wind down a little bit. The door swings open and what at first glance appears to be a large box with legs comes in.
Minna: [giggles]
Rhi: Because there’s a comically large crate being held in front of this person who walks in and plunks it down on the nearest empty table and straightens up to reveal Nevan Rigney.
[others gasp]
Josie: Yay!
Kim: Oh~
Rhi: Who is dressed a little more in, like, has some Tycherosi style clothes. He’s grown out a beard.
Kim: Oh my gosh~
Rhi: Rigney spots his younger brother and vaults the bar.
Minna: [grinning] Yes!
Kim: Aw.
Rhi: Nevan sees his brother coming and holds out his arms for a hug and then is just lifted clear off of his feet.
Kim: Aww~
Rhi: [laughs] And Rigney is basically just like hugging and rocking him back and forth.
Rhi (as Rigney): I wasn’t sure if you got my letter, if you would get back in time. I’m so glad you made it!
Rhi: And Nevan is just like patting his shoulder.
Rhi (as Nevan): [struggling to breathe] Yep, I made it… Air. Lungs. Need. Please. Put me down.
[laughter]
Rhi: So Rigney will set him down.
Rhi (as Nevan): I came here basically straight from the train, and I have gifts! I have lots of gifts. I don’t have fresh food for anybody, but…
Rhi: Opens up this box of Tycherosi souvenirs, basically.
Minna: [delighted hum]
Kim: Oh my gosh~
Rhi: And a lot of it is stuff that, like, he kinda just brought a bunch for people to take. So like, if people want Tycherosi tea or different spices or foods or things like that. But he does reach in and pulls out a smaller but still rather large box and looks around.
Rhi (as Nevan): Uh, Blaire?
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah! Hey!
Rhi (as Nevan): Hey!
Kim: Blaire leaves the table and walks over to the room to, you know, go over to him.
Kim (as Blaire): Hey, it’s… How are you?!
Rhi (as Nevan): I’m good. I’m back. Caelan said it would be safe for me to be back in the city now. Your aunt and uncle were very, very kind and generous, and they gave me this to give to you.
Kim (as Blaire): Oh? Really?
Kim: Blaire takes the box. Am I allowed to open this box now, Rhi?
Rhi: Yeah, yeah, go for it.
Kim: Okay. Blaire opens the box.
Rhi: So it is… it’s a care package, basically.
Kim: Aww.
Rhi: It has a lot of your favorite Tycherosi teas and snacks. There’s a couple new editions of some alchemy books that have just been published in Tycheros.
Kim: [gasps] Yay.
Rhi: And a note, just a little note that says: “Your friend didn’t tell us much, but we’re glad to know that you are safe. Take care. Write when you can. Love,” aunt and uncle.
Kim: Audience at home, I’m so sorry. We’ve forgotten their names. [laughs] I know that they have names, somewhere.
Rhi: [laughs] They do have names. I don’t remember them It’s fine. And yeah, so it’s just a bunch of stuff from home, basically.
Kim: Yay, that’s so nice.
Rhi: Yeah. But yeah, Rigney is just very excitedly introducing everybody to his little brother.
Kim: Aw.
Rhi: Nicholas is very, like, gentlemanly and… [laughs] goes from radiating the powerful chaotic gay energy to “okay, I need to be on my best behavior now.”
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: And yeah. That does kind of revive the party for a bit, because Rigney is just very excited. But then I think it’s starting to get late, some folks start heading out. At what point do Seeks and Parris head out do you think, Waffles? Slash Minna.
Waffles: Hmm… probably whenever Seeks gets too drunk and must be carried home.
Minna: Yeah.
Rhi: [laughs] What does too drunk Seeks look like?
Waffles: There’s a yell…
Waffles (as Seeks): Who wants to talk to ghosts?!
Waffles: …and then the clatter of her falling off a table.
Kim (as Blaire): Me~!
Minna (as Myra): No. No.
Kim (as Blaire): Let’s go~!
Waffles: [laughs]
Kim (as Blaire): Séance time, everyone~!
Minna (as Parris): No, Seeks, sweetheart, please don’t. Remember last time?
Waffles (as Seeks): Séance! Séance… Eh, but séances…
Kim (as Blaire): Last time was fine.
Waffles: I just pat Parris’s face.
Waffles (as Seeks): Séance…
Rhi (as Rigney): No séances in my—Sorry.
Kim (as Blaire): Séance! Séance! Séance! Séance!
Waffles (as Seeks): Séance!
Rhi (as Rigney): I’m done.
Minna (as Parris): No Seeks. You remember last time there were Spirit Wardens. We don’t want to ruin this nice party.
Waffles (as Seeks): [grumbles] I cannot argue with you. You are too pretty.
Waffles: And I feign fainting.
Minna (as Parris): I know I am.
[laughter]
Rhi: So do Parris and Seeks exit with Parris princess carrying Seeks out?
Waffles: Yes.
Minna: [laughing] I don’t know if Parris is that strong. Maybe.
Waffles: We get roughly 15 feet and then I need to be set down.
[laughter]
Kim: Oh no.
Minna: It’s just that Parris’s best weapon is her tongue.
Waffles: Heyooo.
Minna: Not in a weird way. Uh… that came out wrong.
[giggling]
Josie: I mean, that’s not “weird.”
Minna: Her words! Words!
Josie: It’s a good weapon to have.
Minna: I think I was going for silver tongue and it came out weird.
Waffles: Mm-hmm!
Minna: I’m really punchy, guys. I don’t know what happened.
Rhi: So yeah, the party starts to wind down. Lani and Roxanne will make sure to check in. I think they’ve probably talked to all three of you over the course of the night, but they will stop as they’re leaving to give all of you hugs, tell you to stay safe, and probably talk to Myra a little bit more about the next pamphlet printing that’s coming up for the Historical Society. Then they’ll head out. Folks are starting to trickle out. When does Minx head out?
Josie: I think Minx leaves whenever Nyryx does.
Rhi: Yeah.
Josie: I think she’s spending a night or two at Nyryx’s.
Rhi: Yeah.
Josie: And she’s blushing, partly because of gay and partly because of drunkenness.
[laughter]
Kim: Aw, cute.
Rhi: I think Bazso leaves at the same time as the two of you and will basically walk with the two of you as far, like… for a little while until he has to turn off to head to his home, but it’s kinda, you know, it feels like all those nights of your childhood where the three of you just wandered the streets of Duskwall as a trio, getting into mischief.
Josie: [emotional whine]
Rhi: You weren’t usually this drunk, though.
Josie: Yeah.
Kim: I would hope not.
[laughter]
Rhi: So Kit comes up to Myra, has also clearly been drinking a bit.
Rhi (as Kit): Um, Myra? Can I ask you a rather substantial favor?
Minna (as Myra): What’s the favor?
Rhi (as Kit): Would you be willing to walk me home?
Minna (as Myra): Oh.
Rhi (as Kit): This is a very large bowl that takes most of my energy to carry, and based on your friend, who is not here anymore, the woman who was doing the tea leaves… Seeks!
Minna (as Myra): Yes.
Rhi (as Kit): It is not safe for me to be around children or to summon a carriage or a gondola.
Minna: [laughs uncontrollably]
Rhi (as Kit): I have to walk back to Silkshore… and I would appreciate it if you would accompany me, to make sure that I arrive safely.
Minna (as Myra): I would be happy to accompany you.
Rhi (as Kit): I appreciate it.
Minna: I think during the walk, Myra, as they make a turn, jokes:
Minna (as Myra): And it’s this way to go around the orphanage.
Rhi: [coughs laughing] Kit just side-eyes you. You definitely do get hit by a couple of kids who are trying to pickpocket you, though.
Minna: [laughs] That’s the beware of children part.
Rhi: I think Myra is adept enough, did enough pickpocketing in her youth, to recognize what’s happening and shoos them off, but Kit is just like:
Rhi (as Kit): [slow inhale]
Minna: I think she shoos off the kids from Kit but gives them, like, a coin.
Rhi: Yeah, slips them some money. But Kit is just standing there holding his bowl like:
Rhi (as Kit): … The tea leaves know. I should beware of children.
[laughter]
Rhi (as Kit): Your friend is very wise.
Minna (as Myra): Very wise in her own way.
Rhi: And so, back in The Hound’s Paw. I think Nevan is chatting with Blaire.
Kim (as Blaire): So, are you sure you don’t want him back? Because he’s really sweet, but I’m sure he misses you and he’d rather be with you. Because like, he’s yours. He’s your felydon}.
Rhi (as Nevan): No. I would like him back at some point, but I’m gonna be living with Caelan for now, and Caelan is very allergic.
Kim (as Blaire): Oh…
Rhi (as Nevan): So until I’m able to get my own place I think it’d probably be better if he stays with you.
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah! Yeah, I can babysit him for a little longer.
Rhi (as Nevan): Yeah. He’s doing good, though?
Kim (as Blaire): Oh, fantastic. He’s the best. I mean, he pukes over my notes sometimes, but otherwise he’s pretty good.
Rhi (as Nevan): Uh, I wanted to ask…
Kim (as Blaire): Hmm?
Rhi (as Nevan): You came here to go to Charterhall University originally, right?
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah.
Rhi (as Nevan): Do you know anything about their alchemy program?
Kim (as Blaire): Uh… yeah. Lots! I… I went there to study alchemy. I know everyone in the program.
Rhi (as Nevan): Oh. I, uh… I mean, you know, working with your aunt and uncle and learning a few things up there, I’m thinking about going that direction. I probably need to stop with the whole…
Rhi: He doesn’t say theft, but you know, kinda does a little grabby motions thing with his hands.
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah. Yeah, no, I get it. Yeah… I mean, if that’s what you really want. Fair warning, it’s not a cheap school. I was only ever able to go there because, you know, I got a scholarship. It’s gonna be a lot of hard work, but I think you’d be a really good fit.
Rhi (as Nevan): Yeah. Yeah. The humor tonics that they have in Tycheros are really good.
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah!
Rhi: And he pats his beard.
Kim (as Blaire): Yeah, you look great.
Rhi (as Nevan): Thank you! Yeah, I feel great.
Kim (as Blaire): Yay.
Rhi (as Nevan): I want to figure out how to do that kind of thing for, you know, make the stuff that’s here better.
Kim (as Blaire): That would be… Oh my gods, that’s really a good idea. I think you should go.
Rhi (as Nevan): Yeah! Yeah. Well you know, at some point I might want to talk to you about the whole application process and what’s all involved. I didn’t really do a lot of the whole formal education thing, so…
Kim (as Blaire): I mean, neither did I, I was homeschooled my whole life. It’s fine.
Rhi (as Nevan): All right. Well, yeah, I’ll see how that goes. But that’s a problem for another day. It’s probably gonna take me a week or two before Caelan lets me out of his sight for more than an hour.
Kim (as Blaire): Aww. Well, he really missed you.
Rhi (as Nevan): Yeah.
Kim: And she kinda glances between the both of them.
Rhi (as Nevan): And I missed him. Don’t tell him I said that, though.
Kim (as Blaire): Okay, I won’t.
Rhi: [laughs] And he winks at you. So I think we see Blaire heading back outside with her big box, care package.
Kim: Mm-hmm.
Rhi: So yeah, Blaire, as you’re leaving The Hound’s Paw and starting to make your way home you hear a familiar voice that you haven’t heard for quite a few months now from behind you say:
Rhi (as ???): You need a hand with that?
Kim: Blaire just turns around on her heels. She looks like she has been either smacked upside the head or hit by a truck. Her eyes are wide and she’s just speechless.
Rhi: Leaning against a lamppost, posed in a nice circle of light, is Needle, the wayward thief and con artist who hasn’t been seen since you all sprang Phin from Ironhook.
Rhi (as Needle): Uh… hi.
Kim: She takes a couple steps closer.
Kim (as Blaire): What are you doing here?
Rhi (as Needle): The heat seemed to have died down enough that I wasn’t likely to be arrested when I came back, so I figured it was safe to come back to town and see how you were doing.
Kim (as Blaire): How long have you been back?
Rhi (as Needle): Uh…
Rhi: Counts on her fingers.
Rhi (as Needle): Three days?
Kim (as Blaire): Where were you? Where did you go? I tried asking around looking for you, and…
Rhi (as Needle): Well, you know, like I said, a lot of heat on me and on all of you, which that seems like it hasn’t changed from what I’ve been hearing.
Kim (as Blaire): [exasperated sounds]
Rhi (as Needle): I just, you know, I hopped the train, went down to Wintercliff, stayed there for a bit. Probably shouldn’t go back there anytime soon, actually.
Kim (as Blaire): Why didn’t you tell me? I would have gone with you.
Rhi: Uh… [laughs] Needle looks fairly surprised.
Rhi (as Needle): I, um… Wow. I didn’t—
Kim (as Blaire): We were… We were hitting it off. You just left.
Rhi (as Needle): I mean…
Kim (as Blaire): Do you know how many nights I cried over you? Why now?
Rhi (as Needle): Because I felt like it was safe enough for me to come back now. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.
Kim (as Blaire): No, don’t… don’t be sorry. [exhales] I’m happy to see you. I am. I’m just confused, because… I don’t know, I guess I just thought I read too much into things. I thought you, you know, probably didn’t like me the same way so I just tried to move on for a little while.
Rhi (as Needle): You… You didn’t read too much into it. Um…
Kim (as Blaire): Um…
Rhi (as Needle): Tell you what. Why don’t I help you with that very large box you’re carrying and we can make plans to maybe get drinks or something, tomorrow, and we can talk in a space that’s not in the middle of the street.
Kim: I think Blaire just kind of tosses the box to the ground and rushes up to Needle and just kisses her, on the mouth.
Rhi: [laughs] Needle’s eyes go big, and then she will kiss Blaire back.
Kim: [exhales, smiling]
Rhi: And I think that’s where we’ll end!
Kim: [happy hum]
Waffles: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Minna: Beautiful.
Josie: yay.
Rhi: [laughs]
## Outro [1:12:00]
Rhi: Thanks for listening. The Magpies will be back in two weeks. In the meantime, follow us on Twitter at @magpies_pod, and visit our Patreon at patreon.com/magpiespodcast.
The Rivers Lost But Seeking was played by Waffles. Follow them on Twitter at @Mahaffay.
The Magpies podcast is GMed and produced by Rhi. Follow me on Twitter at @rhiannon42 and check out RPGSkillCheck.net for my copy editing and accessibility freelance site.
Blaire Culhane is played by Kim Kogut. Follow her on Twitter at @kimdianajones.
Minx is played by Josie. Follow her on Twitter at @DragonGirlJosie, and watch her art streams at picarto.tv/DragonGirlJosie.
Myra Keel is played by Minna. Follow her on Twitter at @mynaminnarr.
The opening and closing theme music is from ‘Trio for Piano, Violin, and Viola’ by Kevin MacLeod, and is used under a Creative Commons license.
The Blades in the Dark roleplay system is the creation of John Harper, and is published by Evil hat Productions.
Next I’d like to thank our resplendent Patreon backers. Simone Schreuer, thank you. Marcus Howell, thank you.
## Blooper [1:13:29]
Minna: [typing] Googles how to make the thing that I’m making, because I didn’t actually realize we were doing the food prep part.
[laughter]
Kim: No, neither did I.
Rhi: You don’t have to go—You do not have to go into a ton of detail about the food prep.
Minna: I think it goes in an oven.
Rhi: Okay.
Minna: Uh, do ovens exist? Shrug.
Rhi: Yeah!
Minna: [laughs] Okay.
Rhi: Yeah. Yeah.
Kim: Does anything exist?