Transcribed by Michelle Kelly (@Michellicopter)
##Story continues
April: So, the four of you are now able to slip away if that’s your next move.
Rhi: Yeah.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Oh, there she is. I can do the thing now.
Rhi (as Aurelia): No, no, no! Nope, we’re going now, we’re going now.
Josie (as Meliaryx): But I miss her.
April: Well, I’m going to offer you an XP, so I’m gonna waggle a generic string at Meliaryx if you do give in to the old temptation of the Void Empress, the most stunning, powerful, even dragon-like of the individuals that you’ve met outside of your nebula.
Josie: See, I’m torn. Because it makes sense for the character, but just from a good radio standpoint it might, like, end up splitting us up for a long time.
April: Yeah, it’s not at all obligatory. And they do kind of need to you to get into the ship. So maybe does someone say something to Mel? Does someone see this moment of temptation and urge her to stay on task?
Josie: Yeah, Mel’s about to raise her arm to wave. [laughs]
Rhi: My God. [laughs]
April: Mel. [laughs]
Kim: I think it makes sense for Aurelia to be the one to hold her back.
Rhi: Yeah, I see the arm start to go up and just put a hand and yank it down and be like:
Rhi (as Aurelia): What are you doing?
Josie (as Meliaryx): But she’s here. I can do the thing. And I miss her.
Rhi (as Aurelia): We’re not—
April: Aw.
Rhi (as Aurelia): [sighs] Should have known. We’re not doing the thing anymore. The plan has changed. We’re going straight to the yacht while she’s not on it.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Oh. I think that’s easier, then.
Rhi (as Aurelia): Let’s go.
Josie (as Meliaryx): But can I still say hi?
Rhi (as Aurelia): No.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Oh. Why?
Rhi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Aurelia): Walk and talk.
[laughter]
April: Great. So—
Minna (as Keelie): Do you know what the Empress does to people who betray her?
Josie: Do we?
April: I don’t think you’ve ever paid attention. [laughs]
Minna (as Keelie): I’m pretty sure you don’t wanna find out.
Josie (as Meliaryx): ‘kay.
Rhi (as Aurelia): [laughs]
Kim: Am I still stuck with Rayphael or should I take a—
Rhi: No, I successfully rescued you.
Kim: Oh!
April: Aurelia arrived to cut in on your dance just as everyone’s attention was distracted by the arrival of the Void Empress and you were able to slip away.
Rhi: Yeah, you’ve been whisked away to safety, away from whichever of the Rays.
April: That was Raymond.
Rhi: Raymond. [laughs]
Kim: No, it was Rayphael I was dancing with.
Minna: It was Rayphael.
Rhi: Was it?
Kim: I was dancing with Rayphael.
Rhi: I thought you’d switched.
April: Yeah, Raymond is the centrist. Rayphael doesn’t have a lot to say.
Kim: Oh, oh, that’s right.
April: Just a lot of flexing and lifting and dipping.
Minna: [wheeze-laughs]
Kim: I must have missed that.
April: Yeah. Rayphael is down to like, leave the party. If you were dancing with Rayphael then he might have wanted to go with you. But anyway, um, you weren’t. And the four of you are now— well, the three of you are dragging Mel away from the Void Empress, whom she misses, because hot.
Josie: Yeah. [laughs]
Minna: [laughs]
April: So yeah, y’all depart for the yacht. You have free movement, especially, you have Princess Sidonia of Tsunautica**, so the Mantarians** aren’t going to interfere at all. The shuttle itself is defended the Void Empire troops and I’d like to know your approach to getting in.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Well, Keelie can fly and then I can fly you two, because you can’t fly. But we can both fly.
Rhi (as Aurelia): Oh. That is probably a better option than what I was thinking, which was go up and hit them over the head with my sword.
April: [laughs]
Josie (as Meliaryx): I… I mean, we can do both of those things.
Kim (as Sidonia): We should remain as stealthy as we can for as long as we can. I’m sorry, Captain, but I’m vetoing the sword idea.
Rhi (as Aurelia): [sighs] Very well. Flying it is.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Are you sure you two aren’t mates?
Kim (as Sidonia): We’re not— what gave you that idea?
Rhi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Aurelia): [sighs]
Minna: I think Keelie is visibly uncomfortable at this conversation, like, has her arms crossed and is standing slightly apart from the group during it.
Kim (as Sidonia): No, what in the world gave you that idea, about we were partners?
Josie (as Meliaryx): Oh. I said something wrong. Never mind.
Rhi (as Aurelia): Apparently being protective is a sign of that?
Kim (as Sidonia): Oh. Oh, I didn’t know. I apologize.
Rhi (as Aurelia): Not important right now, let’s—
Kim (as Sidonia): Yes. Yeah—
Rhi (as Aurelia): Let’s—
Kim (as Sidonia): Mm hmm.
Rhi (as Aurelia): Keelie, why don’t you take the princess?
Kim (as Sidonia): Can you lift me, Keelie?
Minna (as Keelie): I’ve done it before.
Rhi: [laughs]
Minna (as Keelie): You were smaller then, but I’m sure I still can.
April: Aww!
Kim (as Sidonia): I was going to say, yes, I was, um, years ago… I’m not sure if we could still do it… but we could try?
Minna (as Keelie): Trust me, I can get you up there.
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim (as Sidonia): Um, okay.
April: Oh my gosh! Okay. So, we have our flight pairings. It sounds like Keelie might be enticing the princess? Is that accurate?
Minna: Sure!
April: Yeah, go ahead and give me a roll plus Heart.
Minna: Gosh, I think I’m really bad at Heart. Yeah.
[laughter]
Minna: Minus one. And like, Keelie has said “trust me” and like, she did it in a tone of voice that was very throwaway, but she’s definitely looking at her like, trust me. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I rolled two 6s, so that’s an 11. [laughs]
April: Oh my goodness. Alright, so take a string on Princess Sidonia, and then Princess—
Minna: That also means that I mark…
April: Oh yeah, you do mark Feelings. [laughs]
Kim: Look at that, the scoundrel caught feelings!
April: Yeah.
Minna: Leave me alone, I already have a lot of feelings. [laughs]
April: And then Princess, you get to choose one of the three options for how you react to that. You can get flustered and awkward, you can promise something that you think she wants, or you can give in to desire.
Kim: Ooh. I like flustered and awkward.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: What does that look like as she picks you up?
Kim: So how does this look like? Cause…
Minna: God, how does a bird person pick a person up?
Kim: Yeah, because do you have wings on your back or are your arms your wings?
Minna: I have wings on my back, but there might be like, some space between that like, your body can fit into maybe? I don’t know what happens—
April: Oh, are you riding? Or are you getting picked up? [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah, I was picturing princess carrying. You just hold her in your arms and then fly away.
Minna: Yeah, that’s true. Yeah. It might have to be a you hold onto me.
Kim: I am 100% down for a princess carry.
Rhi: Oh, good! So, you’re just like, got all limbs wrapped around ya.
Minna: Yeah, I’m trying to think about what would actual be a secure way to carry you. [laughs]
Kim: Wouldn’t it be like a bridal carry?
Rhi: Yeah.
Minna: I like it.
Rhi: So, you just get scooped up. [laughs]
Kim: And how does that look? I imagine you have absolutely no trouble lifting me off my feet?
Minna: Yeah. I think that’s how it works.
[giggling]
Kim: Okay.
Kim (as Sidonia): Um, oh! Hi.
Minna (as Keelie): Hello.
Josie: [laughs]
Kim (as Sidonia): Um… uh…
Kim: I think Sidonia takes a second to, like, readjust herself a little bit and like, put her arms around your neck. She’s like:
Kim (as Sidonia): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, um… this is fine.
Minna (as Keelie): Good.
Minna: And then she immediately launches straight up into the air.
Kim (as Sidonia): [yelps] Okay. Oh, we’re flying. Okay.
[laughter]
Kim (as Sidonia): Why do you never warn me when you do that?
Minna (as Keelie): Because it’s so fun to watch your face in that moment of surprise.
Kim (as Sidonia): [teasing] You don’t know I don’t like it when you do that!
Minna (as Keelie): Exactly, that’s the point.
Kim (as Sidonia): Keelie, I…
Josie: I think after they rocket up, Mel’s just like:
Josie (as Meliaryx): Oh, I got it wrong.
Rhi: [laughs loudly]
April: Oh, Mel.
Rhi: Aurelia just heaves a deep sigh and is like:
Rhi (as Aurelia): Let’s just go.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Are… I’m sorry, are you mad?
Rhi (as Aurelia): No. No. I just— let’s—[sighs]
Rhi: [laughs] Aurelia realizing that she’s been left alone to explain emotions.
[laughter]
Minna: Does any of them like explaining emotions?
April: [laughs]
Rhi: I think Aurelia is just not very good at it.
Kim: I feel like Sidonia’s emotional but not good at talking about emotions. [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah. “I’m just feeling a lot, okay? Don’t ask me to explain it!”
Kim: Yes.
Rhi: Yeah, Aurelia just pinches the bridge of her nose and is like:
Rhi (as Aurelia): I’m not mad at you in this moment. I am just… I don’t know. It’s complicated. Let’s just focus on getting the job done.
Josie (as Meliaryx): But you’re mad at me a lot?
Rhi (as Aurelia): You destroyed my planet.
Josie (as Meliaryx): I breathed fire. It’s what I do.
Rhi (as Aurelia): You breathed fire all over my home and now I can’t go back there. So yes, I’m holding a bit of a grudge.
Josie (as Meliaryx): I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about that.
Rhi (as Aurelia): [sighs] Honestly, neither am I.
Josie (as Meliaryx): I’ll carry you across, though.
Rhi (as Aurelia): Yes. Let’s do that.
Rhi: So, how does Mel pick Aurelia up? [laughs]
Josie: [laughs] You know, I think… well, that’s the thing. Am I… I think I need to use my Transform move for this.
April: Ooh!
Rhi: Ooh.
Kim: [excited gasp]
Josie: And I rolled a 9. And I— I’m not sure if I wanna just pop my wings out or just fully transform. Because fully transforming is not stealthy, but it is a thing. You know what? I’m gonna fully transform. Fuck it.
April: Yeah. So, you’re an enormous dragon now.
Josie: Uh huh. And she’s kind of got shimmering, almost like pastel on black sort of scales. Like, she’s colored like a nebula and with the sparkling starts in it to match, and like the membranes of her wings just kind of shift colors as they move around.
April: Wow.
Josie: So, there’s a lot of purples and blues and pinks. And I think she just sort of like lowers her head and neck down like, “Hop on”.
Rhi: [laughs] Have I… [sighs]
April: [laughs]
Rhi: I’m thinking about like if I’ve seen your— I don’t think I’ve seen your dragon form since we fought on my planet.
Josie: Uh huh.
April: Yeah.
Rhi: So I think Aurelia just kind of looks you over and is like:
Rhi (as Aurelia): Well. I suppose this is a bit better than last time I saw you like this.
Rhi: And then will, yeah, climb up to—[laughs] She’s able to climb on easily enough, but I think there’s some awkward kind of like, patting, as she’s like, there’s no where for me to hold onto you.
April: [laughs]
Josie: I—[laughs] Yes, I think like, it’s just grab onto her neck.
Rhi: Yeah…
April: [laughs]
Rhi: So she’s kind of patting like, looking for like, okay, is there something that I can hold onto without hurting her? Nope. Okay, I’m just gonna have to lean forward and hug her neck. This is fine!
Josie: [laughs]
April: Wow. I love it.
Rhi: Something like that.
Josie: Mel swooshes her tail, almost like happily.
April: Aww!
Rhi: [giggles]
Josie: Before doing a bit of a run to take off.
Rhi: Oh man.
April: I would like to remind everybody about the Smitten move.
Josie: Uh huh!
April: If your character is smitten with another, then there’s a moment for that. Does anyone feel like that has happened?
Minna: Yes. [laughs]
[laughter]
April: So, tell us why, give them a string, and then answer the question from your playbook that will make it sad and dramatic.
Minna: When I become Smitten with someone, okay, why is, “Ah yes. I have remembered why I like this so much.” [laughs]
April: Aww! [laughs]
Rhi: Aww.
Minna: The dynamic still works. Sidonia gets a string. “What secret do you have that you think would make them reject you if they knew?” Interesting. What secret do I have?
Kim: Secret secrets!
Rhi: I have an idea. I know that the planet was attacked when you all were fairly young, but somehow, Keelie found out about the attack, like heard about it before it happened, and was able to tell friends or family or something and escape but didn’t warn Sidonia.
Minna: I think she may have just skipped the planet. Like, she had an opportunity to just skip the planet ahead of time and she just went without a word.
Kim: Oh… oh that’s awful and tragic, I love it.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Yes. Okay, and don’t forget to increase your Feelings for giving away that string.
Minna: Ah, yes, thank you for the reminder.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Oh, and my Feral gets set to 4. Because I have a stat called Feral.
April: Yes.
Josie: Which I relate to immensely.
April: You’re at maximum Feral in beast form.
Rhi: I don’t think that I’m gonna do Smitten yet, but the potential is there.
Josie: Yeah, we’re close.
Rhi: Yep.
April: Alright. I think that the distraction of the dragon pretty much guarantees that the other two are not noticed approaching the yacht.
Josie: [laughs]
April: Maybe even Aurelia, around the neck, is not so clearly a person who is approaching. It’s hard to know, its hard to know. The guards will raise their weapons at you until the guard captain tells them to stand down. That must be someone who’s familiar with you and knows that you are an asset and not probably a danger. At least not someone to be shot at without approval from higher up. So yes, it is obvious that a giant dragon has flown to Great Royal Imperial Majesty’s yacht, but no one’s shooting at you and there’s a hatch on top that you can open. Yeah, probably some people noticed that you’re there.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: I kind like the idea of Mel just casually setting down on the deck, near the hatch. But I don’t know, I think she’s just gonna play it off like she’s supposed to be there, right?
April: [laughs]
Josie: Yeah. And I like the idea of her setting down and changing back and Aurelia is still hanging on around her neck.
Rhi: [laughs] Oh no!
April: Aww.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: Oh no. [laughs] So yeah, you turn back and I’m just like, hugging you from behind.
Josie: Uh huh.
April: [laughs]
Rhi: And I think there’s a moment of just standing there and then Aurelia jumps about two feet straight back. It’s very impressive. [laughs]
Josie: And I think if any of the guards can see her, she’s just gonna try and like, nod at them authoritatively.
April: Yeah. It would make sense for there to be guards on this part of the ship— it sounds like you’re picturing a deck of a yacht that’s open to like, bask and everything.
Josie: Yeah.
April: Okay. Yeah, in fact, I think the person who’s there is Sheska-9** who is an android. And she will cock her head and say:
April (as Sheska-9): Meliaryx. You’ve brought guests.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Uh yeah. I like this one, Sheska. So I came back here.
April (as Sheska-9): You like this one?
Josie (as Meliaryx): Yeah.
Rhi: [laughs] Aurelia is quietly panicking.
April: [laughs]
April (as Sheska-9): And what have you done, stranger, to win the affections of the great dragon Meliaryx? She rarely had eyes from anyone but our great Empress.
Rhi: [laughs] Aurelia is panicking harder.
April: [laughs]
Rhi: Let me look at my moves real quick.
April: “Paladin school didn’t prepare me for this.”
Rhi: [laughs] It didn’t! It really didn’t!
Josie: I think Mel might lie with the truth here.
Josie (as Meliaryx): She fought really well.
April: I’d like to hear what Aurelia says, too.
Rhi: Yeah, if Mel kind of gives her that out… Aurelia’s internal monologue was, “Aaaahh!”
Josie: [laughs] Okay.
Rhi: Which is not helpful. So yeah, if Mel kinda gives her that rope to grab onto, she will— all of this has been very internal, by the way. She has maintained a perfectly blank exterior.
April: Uh huh.
Rhi: She will just nod and shrug casually and be like… oh God, what is she gonna say?
Rhi (as Aurelia): She posed a challenge like none I had ever faced before. And apparently, I gave her quite a challenge as well.
April (as Sheska-9): I can see by your elevated heart rate and the flush to your cheeks—
Rhi: [laughs]
April (as Sheska-9): She truly made a profound impression on you. And far be it for me to stand between you two and your further contests. Would you like some privacy on the rear deck?
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie (as Meliaryx): Yes please.
[laughter]
April: That’s great.
Josie: I also think when Aurelia said that, Mel just like genuinely stood up a little straighter, proudly.
April: [laughs]
Rhi: Aww.
Josie: She’s like, “Yay! She said a nice thing.”
April: That’s great. So, she will lead you back to the rear deck and there’s a full bar. This is your favorite, Meliaryx, it’s from her Majesty’s private reserve. So, she’s sort of explaining, she’s boasting to Aurelia:
April (as Sheska-9): This is a private reserve of whisky from a species that no longer exists.
Kim: Oh…
April (as Sheska-9): It’s one of the most rare and treasured cocktails in the galaxy. And what can I get for you?
Rhi (as Aurelia): Nothing for me right now. I wanna stay sharp.
April (as Sheska-9): [laughs] Of course. A partner such as Meliaryx must present many challenges. If you require any assistance, do call.
April: And then she will give you some privacy on the rear deck.
Josie: I think Mel is happily sipping the cocktail.
April: Great. [laughs]
Josie: I think it’s both really sweet and really hot.
April: Oh, it’s like, super spicy?
Josie: It probably has fire in the name. [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: So of course she likes it.
April: Yeah, it’s like Funeral Pyre.
Rhi: Aurelia is just… [laughs] suffering.
April: Uh huh?
Rhi: I think she just will sit down at the bar and like, put her head in her hands.
April: Aww.
Josie (as Meliaryx): So… we should go find them, right?
Rhi (as Aurelia): Uh, yes. We should. Definitely should do that.
Josie: She seem— Mel seems conflicted as to whether to bring the drink with her or not.
Rhi: [laughs] I kind of like leaving it on that, of just the two of them leaving while Mel is just like…
Minna: [laughs]
Rhi: “Uh… uh…”
Josie: Also, now I think Mel is smitten.
Rhi: Aww.
April: Aww! Why is that?
Josie: Because Aurelia propped her up, and she knows that it was to get on board the ship, but she was like, “Oh, yay! She did like our fight.” [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Oh no!
Rhi: The thing is, she genuinely did. [laughs] She got to fight a fucking dragon, like, that’s cool!
Minna: That’s like, that’s paladin classic bullshit.
Rhi: Yeah, yeah.
Josie: Uh huh. [laughs]
April: So, Aurelia gets a string on you and then—
Rhi: Boy oh boy.
April: Tell us the answer to your playbook Smitten question.
Josie: Which is, um, “What have you done that you are sure they view as inappropriate?” Um…
Kim: Ha!
Rhi: Well.
Josie: I almost feel like the answer is what have I done that isn’t inappropriate to Aurelia?
April: Well, the way you structured this character, the question from the Infamous playbook might even be a better fit, which is “Why do you think they would be wrong to forgive you?” Does that feel like it resonates?
Josie: Oh…
Rhi: Ooh…
Josie: Okay, I like that.
April: Cool.
Josie: I think she would be wrong to forgive me because I might end up doing it again. Not like, out of maliciousness, but just… I’m a dragon and when I get angry, bad stuff can happen.
April: Wow.
Rhi: Yeah. I like that a lot. That’s really good.
April: That is really good.
Rhi: And you know what? I’m gonna just… for the hell of it, I am also going to say that Aurelia is Smitten back.
April and Josie: Aww!
Rhi: Which she would never admit in a million years. But I think the reason is that basically just that she has not trusted Meliaryx, and when, you know, she transformed and started talking to guards, Aurelia was like, mentally gearing up to like, have to fight her way out of this, because she was certain that Mel was gonna sell her out or just go back to the Empress or whatever. And then Mel defended her and like, made sure that she was gonna be protected. She feels some kinda way about that. My Smitten question, my heart is not mine to give. “How does pursuing them conflict with your devotion?” Well… [laughs] you used to work for the Empress, uh, you still seem to have some fondness for her, and one of the tenets of my devotion is never trust anyone from the Empire. So…
Josie: Mm.
Rhi: This is fine. It’s fine.
Josie: Everything’s fine.
Rhi: Yeah.
April: Perfect. And do— I didn’t hear if you mentioned it, but Mel gets a string on Aurelia.
Rhi: Yes.
April: Lovely. So yeah, you can all rejoin. You allegedly have privacy on the rear deck and you can descend into the yacht. So, it is much as you remember, Meliaryx. And you know the way both to the kitchen where the rarest and most delicious delights in the galaxy reside and to the Empress’s chambers where the mission is. So, what do you do?
Josie: Real quick. I’m curious as to the aesthetic of this boat. Because this is an evil murder yacht.
April: Yes?
Josie: So, I’m wondering what that looks like. And also, do we first maybe wanna join up with the other two so they’re not left out for two long?
Rhi: I think we did.
Josie: Oh, okay.
Rhi: I think that we all, yeah, I think we all catch up.
Minna: Keelie lights down on this deck once she sees that y’all are alone on it.
Josie: Oh, okay.
Rhi: Okay, cool, perfect.
April: Yeah. Yeah, the murder yacht. This is a big, imposing, brutalist kind of star ship that does have a deck that you can go out on to enjoy the open air, and it can bubble over for space travel or whatever, but at the moment it’s open to the nice sea air. And it is just grey and imposing, and the weapons are not concealed. There are just giant cannons on this thing and it bears the crest of the Void Empire, which is like a big four-pointed star on a black background. In the interior it is gilded and opulent. There’s red velvet, there are portraits of notable figures from the history of the Void empire. There are, like, little sports rooms for competition, there are three different dueling chambers, two different torture rooms, a small travel dungeon. It’s like her travel luggage. And there’s like, a barracks, right? There’s a not insignificant number of troops on board the yacht. What else would you like to flesh out?
Josie: Um, I think that’s pretty good.
April: It’s delightful. It’s the best in space tyrant luxury.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Since it’s like, brutalist on the outside, I’m like, imagining… I don’t know how to describe it, but like, on the inside it’s very sterile, high-class apartment sort of thing?
Rhi: Very like, minimalist?
Josie: Yeah, but like, the sort of minimalist that only super fucking rich royal people can do. You know what I mean?
April: I do.
Josie: Like, you know, the white carpets and tasteful décor here and there.
April: I mean, she’s a little on the gaudy side I think, for your space tyrant.
Josie: Okay.
April: Like, she showed up in like, floating gold spike armor.
Josie: Right. [laughs]
April: With glowing purple eyes. So, there’s a little bit less, like, understated class here and a lot more like, “Yeah I’m the space tyrant, what are you gonna do about it?”
Josie: Uh huh. [laughs]
April: Here’s the skull of the last ruler of the Zodenoids. I use it as a footrest.
Rhi: I had it plated in gold.
April: Yeah. [laughs]
Josie: [laughs] Excellent.
Minna: Tamburlaine in space.
April and Rhi: [laugh]
Rhi: So, where is Mel leading us? [laughs]
Josie: Uh, I think Mel heads first to the kitchen.
April: Yeah, it smells real good.
Rhi: Oh no.
April: Yeah. So, you arrive in the kitchen where Sheska-8 is preparing a set of desserts. And there are sort of two different trays and you know that, you know, she is preparing the dessert for if there’s no bloodshed and she’s preparing the post-conquest dessert Her Majesty prefers. So, she’s just covering her bases. She says, like:
April (as Sheska-8): Mel, I thought you might make your way down here. But you know you’re not allowed to have guests aboard.
Josie (as Meliaryx): But I like them.
April and Minna: [laughs]
April (as Sheska-8): Well, eat them now or—
Josie: Well, also, are they following me into the kitchen at all?
Rhi: Yes, we thought you were leading us somewhere useful!
April: [laughs] It smells really good. It smells so good.
April (as Sheska-8): No, no, finish them now. You can’t keep them for later.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Um… okay. But do I get to have dessert after that?
April (as Sheska-8): Yes. If I’d known you were coming, I would have made you some dragon treats.
April: And she wants to like, boop your nose.
Josie: [laughs] Mel is booped.
[laughter]
Minna: Is Mel Scooby?
Josie: Ruh roh.
Kim: She is!
Rhi: No… [laughs]
Minna: I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
April: She’ll pick up, like, two kinds of sauce and is like:
April (as Sheska-8): What are you in the mood for?
April: They’re both, like, really spicy hot.
Josie: Uh, Mel seems to put a lot of careful consideration into this choice before just picking the one on the left.
April: Great.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: So, she will spray the party with the sauce on the left.
Rhi: [laughing] No!
Kim: What?
April: [laughs]
Rhi: God, it’s probably like mace.
April: [laughs]
Kim: Why?
April: If someone would like to defy this disaster, then now is the time.
Kim: Yes!
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: I’d like to take this opportunity to achieve one of my goals and tackle the princess to safety.
April: [laughs] Perfect. Defy that disaster.
Rhi: Let me see…
April: It’s really hot. [laughs]
Minna: Literally a spicy moment between them.
April: [squeals]
Rhi: I’m quitting.
[laughter]
Kim: I was gonna say, this is literally just that guy who threw the shoe at George W. Bush.
Rhi: [laughs] This is like mace, though. It’s very spicy. And I don’t know what it is, I just see that we’re about to get sprayed with something. It would be toxic.
April: Mm hmm.
Josie: Mel only just realized that Sheska-8 was talking about eating them.
April: Sheska’s just trying to support you.
Josie: I know.
Rhi: I’m gonna do Gallant Rescue, which is when I defy a disaster that’s about to befall someone else.
April: Love it.
Rhi: So, let me roll this. I think that for me, I’m rolling with Daring, because I’m just doing a big tackle.
April: Cool.
Rhi: Okay, I got an 8.
April: Alright. So, I think— what would you have been willing to sacrifice to protect the princess here?
Rhi: I mean, my own safety.
April: Yeah. I think you’re gonna get sauce-maced.
Rhi: Oh no, my eyes. [laughs]
April: So, you take the blast of sauce for the princess and it really stings, it’s really kind of humiliating, and yet gallant. You have in fact shielded the princess from this undignified fate, but in the process you have taken a condition. I think it might be Insecure or Angry? It’s your choice, but I’m just gonna nominate those as maybe fitting.
Rhi: Yeah… Insecure feels correct.
April: Cool. Yep. You’re sauced.
Rhi: Yep. [laughs] And I do have for my move with Gallant Rescue, I get to either gain a string, which I don’t think I’m gonna do, or I get to ask one of the following questions of Sidonia.
April: Mm hmm?
Rhi: So, my options are “How do you feel about my devotion?” or “What secret pain lies in your heart?”
Kim: Ooh… you know me, Rhi. You know I love angst. What is the secret pain in your heart?
Rhi: Well, no, no, I’m asking you.
Kim: Oh!
Rhi: What secret pain lies in your heart?
Kim: Secret pain.
Rhi: Yes.
Kim: Ooh… what’s a pain that I have that’s not secret?
April: Yeah. [laughs] That’s not public. You get a glimpse before the sauce stings your eyes, you have this moment where you’re protecting the princess—
Minna: What do you actually want that you haven’t told anybody you actually want?
April: Ooh.
Kim: Do you have an idea?
Rhi: I have an idea.
Kim: Please.
Rhi: I think that, like, Sidonia was moving towards Keelie protectively when I did my tackle. You were trying to protect Keelie.
Kim: Is that— that’s not really a secret pain though?
Rhi: Uh, well that you can’t be with her. Because of your duty.
Kim: Hmm.
Rhi: I didn’t know you liked her specifically.
Kim: I don’t think anybody really knows that Sidonia really wants Keelie. So, I guess that’s the secret pain that’s in my heart, is that I really love this little birb and I can’t be with her.
Josie: Aww!
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Did we already do your Smitten for Keelie?
Kim: Not yet. I’m not sure if this is the right moment since I’m in tanglements with Aurelia right now.
Rhi: Yeah, you’re currently sprawled on the floor with me. [laughs]
Kim: Yeah, but we’ll try to work that in before we’re done.
April: It all depends on when you want her to get that string, because I think it will push her over to four Feelings, and four feelings is too many feelings for a Trickster.
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: What happens at four feelings?
Minna: Keeping bad track because I only have two marked. I’m only up to… oh, start at one and— oh, yeah, okay, I fucked up. [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: Could someone tell me what four Feelings does?
Minna: I have to have an outburst about my feelings.
Kim: [gasps] Ooh. Okay, it would be funny if you did have an outburst now about something as silly as someone else tackling me to the ground and it wasn’t you.
Rhi: [laughs]
Minna: It might even be an outburst at Mel that is tangentially related to the princess being in danger.
Josie: [laughs]
Kim: My question is do we wanna do this now or will there be, like, a juicier more climactic moment for you to have an emotional outburst?
Minna: We can do this later if you want. If that works for you.
Kim: Yeah. Let’s keep it on the backburner for now. I’m sure there will come a point where I will give you that string.
April: The outburst might happen because you’re also getting sauced, but I think we’re in the middle of—
Minna: I haven’t defied my disaster, though.
April: Yeah, we’re in the middle of this Gallant Rescue and then we’ll get to see.
Rhi: I think mine is resolved. I think that’s all the parts of my move, yeah. I just had to ask a question.
April: Cool. Then Keelie, are you getting sauced?
Minna: I would prefer to defy that disaster. And what I’m willing to sacrifice is the illusion that I’m subdued prey.
April: Oh…
Minna: And I’m going to roll Grace to dodge out of the way, possibly using my wing to shield at least my face. And I rolled a 12.
April: Okay, that’s great. You don’t even have to get the spicy barbeque sauce on your tasty wings.
Minna: [laughs]
April: You are able to evade even the precise attack. So, to be clear, you haven’t had to sacrifice anything. You rolled super well, so this is an up beat narratively. I think you are going to realize that Sheska is pretty busy and wants to get back to food prep, but is built to serve and is trying to take care of Mel’s needs and also the regulations. But if she is assured that Mel is going to go eat you somewhere else, you can probably leave.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Um, Sheska, I brought them here for kissing, not for eating.
Rhi: [laughs]
April (as Sheska-8): That’s forbidden, Mel.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Not for me.
April (as Sheska-8): No, yes for you, Mel. You always say that. The rules do also apply to you, Mel.
Josie (as Meliaryx): [grumbles]
April (as Sheska-8): Aww. Oh, who’s a grumpy dragon?
Minna: So, I think—[laughs] I think Keelie is gonna sidle up to the droid and be like:
Minna (as Keelie): I’m pretty sure she’s just gonna play with her food. Like, can you help me get out of here? Because I do think that that is going to just be her playing with her food before she does eat us. Please. Help me.
April: Are you using a move in conjunction with that? Like The Mask, to persuade her of a lie about you?
Minna: That sounds correct, yes.
April: Cool.
Minna: I’m trying to seem like I’m scared that I’m going to be eaten, so that she can send us away to be peacefully eaten. [laughs]
April: Aww. Love it. Yeah, that’s perfect. So go ahead and roll The Mask. That is one of your Trickster moves, it is—
Minna: Plus Wit.
April: Plus Wit, yep.
Minna: Uh, that is a 7?
April: Okay.
Minna: “The lie you have chosen is unexpectedly perfect, creating a new opportunity”?
April: Oh…
Minna: Maybe the place where they would send her to eat us would be a useful place for us to be?
April: Mm hmm. Okay. Yeah, great. Okay, so she replies:
April (as Sheska-8): Isn’t that— aren’t you adorable? You think I’m gonna help you? Mel, you do find the tastiest little morsels. No, no, no.
April: And she puts an arm around you in like a friendly way, but very much like herding you to your death.
Minna: [laughs]
April: And like:
April (as Sheska-8): No, no, no, you all stick together. Now, Meliaryx.
April: And she winks at you.
April (as Sheska-8): I know you’re not really going to eat them. So, why don’t you just bring them down to the Prime Dungeon. It’s empty, in case we have guests later. And soundproofed, you’re not gonna bother anyone there.
April: And she’ll sort of shuffle you all along. And she thinks she’s helping Mel convince you that you’re here for smooches and not to be eaten.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: And gives a little thumbs up and Mel leads you off, like, right in the direction that you need to go to reach the chambers of the Void Empress. And then Sheska goes back to her food prep.
Josie: Yeah. Mel will still very angrily follow down there. I’m trying to think here. I think she knocks something over on her way out. [laughs] Because she’s a big, frustrated cat, I guess.
[laughter]
April: Does she just like, punch over a giant refrigerator or something?
Josie: Yeah, I think I like, leave a dent in it.
April: Yeah. [laughs] Alright, fantastic.
Kim (as Sidonia): Um, Captain? Are you alright?
Rhi: Uh, yes. I can mostly see again. Ow.
Kim (as Sidonia): Uh— are you— can I get you anything? There must be ice in here somewhere. Um—
Rhi (as Aurelia): Uh, no, I’m alright.
Rhi: Like, her eyes are red and like, she’s got tears streaking down her cheeks. But it’s that, not crying tears, it’s the tears of my eyes are watering really badly, so she keeps just like wiping at her eyes. She’s like:
Rhi (as Aurelia): No, I’ll be fine. I can mostly see again.
Kim (as Sidonia): No, no, no, let me.
Kim: I think Sidonia reaches up and tries to help wipe away some tears [laughs]
April: Aww…
Rhi: Oh no…
April: Do you think this is Emotional Support? Or it could be Entice. Up to you.
Kim: Hmm…
Rhi: Yeah, either one.
Kim: What does Entice entail again? I don’t think— I don’t think Sidonia’s doing this on purpose. She views this as platonic. But it could be an Entice?
April: Yeah, it doesn’t have to be intentional.
Rhi: I don’t know. This feels more like Emotional…
April: Mm hmm.
Rhi: I think that Aurelia would take this as Emotional Support.
April: Cool.
Kim: Yeah. Okay, yeah. Let’s do that.
April: You can use either Heart or Spirit for that, Sidonia. And that’s good, cause Aurelia has a condition.
Rhi: And if you spend a string on this, it boosts it even further.
April: By 3. Yeah, if you spend a string that you have on Aurelia now, it’ll boost it by 3.
Kim: Yeah, let’s use a string, because I know I do have— I actually have two strings on you, Aurelia.
April: Great.
Rhi: Yeah. So it’ll be 3 plus Heart or Spirit, plus whatever you get on the dice.
Kim: Okay. So— alright. Just so I’m understanding, because I’m not sure if April knows, I’m very bad at rules.
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: I’m rolling two dice, I’m going to add either Heart or Spirit, and then plus 3?
April: Yes, that’s right.
Kim: Okay, great. Thank you.
April: You got it. That’s the most math you have to do in this game.
Kim: I know, I’m just—
April: Adding like four numbers.
Kim: I’m just a useless bisexual who doesn’t know numbers.
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: Okay, so that’s an 11 if I did that right. I rolled a 4 and a 3, which is a 7, my Heart and Spirit are both plus 1, and then the 3.
April: Great. So, now the question is for you Aurelia. Do you open up to Princess Sidonia?
Rhi: I don’t think so, because I’m trying to be brave for you.
Kim: Aww!
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Aww.
April: Gosh.
Rhi: Being all brave and stoic and tough, and I’m not gonna admit that this hurts a lot.
Kim: All of this drama over sauce.
Rhi: [laughs] I know!
April: Oh my goodness.
Rhi: Yeah, so I think that– I think I’m gonna go with not opening up.
April: Okay.
Rhi: So, you get to pick one of the things off the list. Or—
April: No, I think if you don’t open up then that’s the end of it.
Rhi: Oh okay, nothing. Okay.
April: So Sidonia, you’re not Smitten with her, right?
Kim: Not yet, no.
April: Okay. If you were, then her not opening up would be sad for you. But it’s not. So yeah, that’s that. [laughs]
Josie: I think after that intimate moment—
Kim: Oh no.
Josie: Mel just takes some of the sauce off of Aurelia with a finger and tastes it.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Oh, it’s so good. It’s so good. You’ve missed this sauce.
Josie: Mm hmm.
Josie (as Meliaryx): Sorry. I was just trying to get a snack while we were doing this.
Minna: [laughs] Wait. Do you think that the recipe exists anywhere that I could steal it?
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Oh…
Rhi: Well, we’re gonna be going through the Empress’s files, so… [laughs]
Minna: I meant in the kitchen!
April: The kitchen computer probably isn’t very secure, and obviously Sheska knows how to make it. So yeah, there are several avenues for getting that recipe.
Minna: You know, that’s an afterthought. That’s a priority— that’s somewhere down the priority list. [laughs]
April: It’s sweet.
Rhi: Secondary goal.
April: That’s thoughtful.
Rhi: I think when Mel says that, Aurelia’s just like:
Rhi (as Aurelia): It’s fine. We’ll just make sure to pack some snacks for you in the future so that this doesn’t happen. Let’s go.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Oh my gosh. Great, okay. You get to Void Empress’s chambers. Mel knows the combo to get in and it opens just into— there’s a whole— its honestly probably like it opens to basically, like, most of this deck of the ship is her chambers. And there’s panoramic windows, there’s a hot tub, there’s a gun turret for when she wants to get some direct murder in from her flagship. There’s a gigantic four-poster bed. Oh, and there’s a command throne for sure. The command throne is at the very far end of this room, at the bow of the ship. You do note— well, you— no, no, it just smells like sauce. So there you are.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: You are in the chambers of the Void Empress. It’s got— oh, what, tell me, Aurelia, what relic of your home world is here and how is it being defiled?
Minna: [groans]
Kim: [gasps]
Rhi: Oh… oh man. I think that the leadership of my world did fight back and were crushed, and I think that’s why I’m so adamant that I help the leadership of this world play it safe and not be crushed under the Empire’s heel. So, I think that it’s the ceremonial blade that our queen carried.
April: Wow, nice.
Rhi: And I think that is had been— oh God. It’s been like, the blade has been heated up enough so that it could be bent and twisted around so that it’s now a cup holder for the hot tub.
April: [laughs]
Kim: Oh, ow.
Rhi: Yeah. It’s like, the blade has been twisted into like a figure 8 and there’s a half-empty, like, margarita glass sitting in there.
April: Right.
Kim: Oh, that’s awful.
Rhi: Yeah.
April: Alright, incredible. I think maybe, Sidonia, is there something from your world here?
Kim: Mm… yes. Near the lounge area, around where the hot tub is, the Void Empress has a rather sizeable aquarium tank of some— a small collection, there’s a small school of fish there that have now gone extinct on the planet.
April: Oh, cool.
Rhi: [groans]
Kim: Outside of captivity.
April: Right. Yeah, so you emerge into this chamber and after no more than a couple of steps inside, gawping at all these relics, some of the closets open and two Sheskas step out and Mel finally gets a whiff of that familiar whiff of blood. And the Countess Mordrella** enters behind you with her flesh and bone sword drawn and says:
April (as Mordrella): Meliaryx, this is how you repay being the Empress’s favorite? And Princess, Princess, you… you’ve just doomed your planet.
Kim (as Sidonia): As if you hadn’t doomed it already.
Rhi: [whispers] I’d like to do a stab.
April: [bursts into laughter] Yeah, good, okay.
Rhi: Aurelia’s already pissed, and look! Here’s an excuse! [laughs] Somebody to take some anger out on. Yeah, I wanna fight. Draw my sword and fight.
April: Do it. Fight! [laughs] Do you say— is it just like, you know, she’s talking to the Princess, she’s doing her villain thing, and you just stab?
Rhi: I’m picturing that Aurelia had her back to the door cause she’s staring at this horrible, twisted relic of her people that’s been so degraded. And when she starts talking it’s just, she doesn’t say anything, it’s just in a single motion draws her sword and whips around and goes in.
April: Love it.
Rhi: Just… [laughs] yeah. So let me, I’m looking real quick… oh would this— actually no, I’m not gonna do Last Stand because I don’t have that many conditions marked yet. Soon, though.
April: We can change that, yeah.
Rhi: [laughs] Yeah, soon.
April: [laughs]
Rhi: [shakes dice] Alright, so I’m just going to do Daring. Let me say that while I’m not shaking dice. I’m just gonna do that with Daring.
April: Okay.
[clattering sound]
Rhi: Oh! Oh, one of my dice ran away.
Kim: If it’s a 6, keep it.
Rhi: Okay… no, I caught it before it hit the floor. Uh, 6 and then my daring is… 2. So that’s a total of 8.
April: Great. You’re gonna get to choose two of those fight options and she’s gonna choose one of them.
Rhi: Okay.
April: Yeah, so let’s alternate. So you choose one and I’ll let you know what she’s doing.
Rhi: Yeah, so, uh, I’m going to choose through violence or cutting words, inflict a condition.
April: Great. So, it sounds like violence, right?
Rhi: Mm hmm. [laughs]
April: I think you’re gonna make her Angry. Like, she was talking.
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs] “Excuse me, I was in the middle of a villainous monologue.”
April: Right? Excuse you. Um, so, what she’s gonna do is grab you by your hair and she tries to— her fangs elongate and she’s trying to bite your neck. And you’re just able to break away. And she’s inflicting a condition as well, if you’d like to be Frightened or Angry…
Rhi: I’m also Angry.
April: You’re so valid, yeah.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Okay, next, you get another choice, yeah.
Rhi: And then my last one, I would like to create an opportunity for an ally. I think that I basically have just seized 100% of her attention by coming at her with a sword, so I think that somebody would be able to take advantage of that distraction and attack her.
Josie: Hi. I would like to do that.
April: Yeah. So first, you know, when an important NPC gets a condition they get to do a little reactive move. In this case, she’s going to, uh, so the fight takes you near the cannons and she says:
April (as Mordrella): Enough of this charade of a ball.
April: And turns on the cannon. So, it starts spinning up to just pepper the palace with lasers. Mel?
Josie: I think Mel, as soon as the fighting happens, just whipped her sword off her back and— I don’t think she really knows how to use it aside from swinging it really, really hard. So she’s gonna baseball swing it towards vampire lady and be like:
Josie (as Meliaryx): You’re supposed to be fighting me!
April: [laughs] Oh my God, okay, this is great. Go ahead and roll it.
Josie: I got a 10.
April: Amazing. So you’re gonna get to choose three of those things and she is gonna be able to choose one in response.
Josie: I think I want to inflict a condition, create an opportunity for an ally and seize a superior position.
April: Ooh.
Josie: Like, I think I just wanna, just with sheer force, knock her away from where she’s standing.
April: Yeah, so she’s not gonna be able to aim that cannon at anything, it’s just gonna fire indiscriminately. And I think you’ve made her Insecure, cause you actually have, like, swatted her. And she’s supposed to be the main murder monster around here. She’s not going to lose to you. Maybe the opportunity for an ally is someone could just go turn off the cannon now? Unless you had something else in mind.
Josie: Yeah, that would make sense.
April: Okay. So, when she becomes Insecure, then, hmm… is she gonna have disregard for her own wellbeing or— yeah, that sounds good. Yeah, she calls to a Sheska who’s not there.
April (as Mordrella): Sheska-2, initiate self-destruct.
April: And she—
Rhi: Uh, what?
April: [laughs] She says that none of you are going to survive this. And she didn’t do her thing with— I think she’s kinda… she’s gonna inflict a condition on Mel, I think. So, she says to Mel:
April (as Mordrella): You might survive along with me the annihilation of this vessel. Do you care about any of these people? Of course not. I hope you all know that she’s never cared about anything but herself.
Josie: That’s a lot to say after just getting smashed around in the middle of a fight. [laughs]
April: Listen, it’s a game about talking in the middle of sword fights.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Also, I’m confused. There’s another android there now? What…
April: Well, so, two things: one, she called up on her communicator an android somewhere else, like, “Hey, start the self-destruct.” And B, like, yeah, there are two other androids there. They came out of the closets and swords emerged from their wrists, but they haven’t—
Kim: They’re doin’ just fine.
April: Yeah. We haven’t gotten there yet. So yeah, that is inflicting a condition on you, if you might be Guilty or Hopeless or Insecure as a result. Or Angry. Everyone can be Angry.
Josie: I think Guilty would make sense. What penalty does that apply?
Minna: Minus 2 to Emotional Support.
April: Yeah, that’s a penalty to Emotional Support. You’re a little too self— you’re a little too absorbed in your own feelings to be as effective at emotional support.
Josie: Yeah. Like, I think Mel gets a little bit— the words cut a little deep because they’re kinda right, or at least they used to be right.
April: Mm hmm. Yeah. So, I think she’ll add to that. Lets have a little more talking in this sword fight, and say:
April (as Mordrella): Why don’t you all just help me eat them all up? I’ll make the excuses for you with the Empress, and the saucy one smells just so enticing.
Josie (as Meliaryx): No. I like them.
April (as Mordrella): More’s the pity.
April: So, we haven’t had Sidonia or Keelie act yet.
Kim: Yeah. Should we do something together? Or should we tag team something?
Minna: Sure. I’m just trying to think what I can do. I don’t know why I’m struggling with this.
Kim: Yeah, me too. Do we still have to take the cannon offline, or…?
Rhi: Yeah. There’s the cannon, there’s two androids and there’s this vampire lady.
Kim: We could take care of the androids, or split up. One of us do androids, one of us…
Minna: I have a move called Devious Scheme. When others go along with your cunning plan, roll plus Wit. And then during your plan you can choose certain things that are useful. I don’t know if that would be helpful.
April: Okay.
Kim: Yeah.
Minna: If we need to take out the cannon and the androids, I wonder if there’s a way that we could take out both with one stone somehow. Or use one to take out the other.
April: Yeah, do you wanna try to, like, slam an android into the turret and disable them both?
Minna: Yeah.
April: Yeah, that would be part of the fight move with the android. And because Mel already gave you the opportunity to disable the cannon, there’s no further thing that needs to happen to be able to do that. So it can just be narratively part of fighting on of the Sheskas. So, do you want to articulate a cunning plan for folks to go along with, or do you want to go ahead and kick some android butt?
Minna: So, I think what’s gonna happen is I’m going to ask Sidonia to stand near the cannon and be ready to— because I think it’s gonna be something like somehow yank out wires in the android and connect them to the cannon and overload it.
Kim: Oh, cool. I like that
Minna: So like, I’m going to fight them over that direction and try and get some wires out and she’s gonna grab them and link them up.
April: Love it.
Kim: Cool.
Minna: So, I am going to— am I gonna roll my Devious Scheme?
April: Yep.
Minna: Okay. That is a… 7. So, I can choose one thing during the plan.
April: Great, yes. And then plan, you know, your plan can last longer than, like, this ten seconds of action that you have planned, right? So just hold onto that and you can exploit that later. And now you should go ahead and—
Minna: Roll the fight move?
April: Yeah, roll the fight move, unless you think one of those things is how you make this happen.
Minna: No, I think I am going to use sword to get it close to Sidonia.
April: [laughs] Cool.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Then yeah, do the fight.
Minna: So that is, oof, that’s a 5.
Rhi: Oh no…
April: Love it. Love it. If there are two people with strings on you who can narrate how they help, you can get that up to a 7. Otherwise it’s going to be a narrative downbeat and you’re probably gonna be in trouble.
Kim: I’m willing to help.
Rhi: I mean I, this… yeah, me too. We’re…
April: Yeah. We already had Sidonia helping, so spend a string on Keelie and that bumps it up by one. And then who’s the other person? Narrate how you help.
Rhi: I think that I see that Keelie is struggling with this and I just grab some random thing off of a side table there and just chuck it at the android, and that distracts it enough for Keelie to get the upper hand again.
April: Yeah, that sounds good. So, Keelie is between these two androids and they both have had, like, blades fan out from their arms, so they each have swords instead of arms, and they’re coming at you. And they’re just smiling and happy and they’re doing their thing, and it’s pretty unsettling. And they have the upper hand on you until—
Minna: Can I suggest something? [laughs]
April: Yeah!
Minna: One of them knocks my sword out of my hand.
Kim: [gasps]
Minna: But I manage to get in such a position— so, this whole time Keelie has been wearing a cuff on her wrist that just looks like jewelry. But she activates it and her sword comes spinning back to her, in the process cleaving through the neck joint of one of the droids.
April: Oh hell yeah.
Kim: Oh, that’s sick as hell!
April: So trickstery. I love it.
Minna: That’s my surprising sword.
April: I love it. Yes, that’s great. So, you earn the split second that you need to summon your sword back, cut through, kick them back to Sidonia to grab those wires and overload the cannon. Love it. So, there’s one android left, the cannon’s overloaded, and the self-destruct is counting down but that’s probably fine.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: So yeah, who’s next? Maybe Mel? You weren’t involved in that. Do you wanna go?
Josie: Yeah. I think Mel’s just gonna keep wailing and it’s gonna get more and more clear that it’s just sort of— it’s the draconic rage you’re familiar with and haven’t been seeing tonight.
April: Ooh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Mordrella’s like:
April (as Mordrella): Are you all seeing this? Whatever happens here, she’s gonna trash this whole planet. That’ll be a sight to behold.
Josie: It’s like she’s covering up for the guilt with just anger and just… yeah. Just beating the crap out of her with her sword. [laughs]
April: This is good, this is good. Show me that rage.
Josie: I also— okay, no, Feral isn’t gonna increase yet. But I am gonna roll 2d6. I got a 10 on fighting again.
April: Alright. Tell me how you show her your rage and how you inflict the last condition that she can take before she’s incapacitated. Though she goes down fighting and she is going to, I think, take a string on you. Because she actually does know you better than most.
Josie: I think I inflict the last condition by just… I dunno what conditions are available to her, but I think she like, keeps opening her mouth to coyly play with my emotions more and then just, slam! [laughs] And she tries again, slam!
April: Cool.
Josie: Until I think I just whack her to the ground and have my sword over her.
April: Yeah. I think you’ve made her hopeless because, you know, she’s never gonna be the Empress’s favorite. The one Sheska bot is not a match for the rest of you, so you can disable that other Sheska bot no problem. You don’t have a ton of time, the ship is set to self-destruct, there are probably reinforcements coming. So, what do you do in the seconds that you have here?
Rhi: Uh, I think— is there like, some kind of terminal of hard drive or something that we could just grab and kind of— we’ll grab this and sort through it later? Hopefully here’s something.
April: It’s all bult into the throne, which is one of those nice rotating villain thrones at the bow of the ship. So, it’s anchored to the ground, but you have swords and a dragon.
Rhi: Yeah. I think I wanna just, like, I think Aurelia is gonna run to get something out of the sword and then shout to the others like:
Rhi (as Aurelia): Break the windows, we’ll fly outta here!
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Nice.
Rhi: Cause you said there were big panoramic windows and we’ve got people who can fly. Let’s go! [laughs] So Aurelia is gonna try to just get something, some kind of data storage device, out of this throne.
April: Oh, out of the throne. Cool.
Rhi: I can’t take— I don’t think we can take the whole throne.
April: [laughs]
Rhi: I just wanna get the hard drive out of it.
April: Great. You slash off the arm of the chair where the data core is.
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs] Taking this! I think I grab the sword too. Maybe we can hammer it back into shape.
April: Aw.
Kim: Oh, yeah.
Rhi: And, oh, I’m picturing at least for Aurelia that like— and Josie, you can tell me if this works, but I’m picturing that like, Mel goes out the window first and turns into dragon form and Aurelia just jumps and is trusting that Mel will catch her.
April: Aw.
Kim: Aww!
Josie: I think you’re all missing that you gotta pull her away.
Rhi: Oh. [laughs]
April: What?
Josie: From— cause she’s frothing mad and has the vampire lady on the ground, about to stab her.
Rhi: Oh shit.
Josie: I don’t think she’s paying attention.
Rhi: Okay. Okay. We’ll back that up then.
Minna: Can I try and do something about that?
April: Please.
Minna: I don’t know what I’m doing about that. Hold on, let me look at the moves.
April: Well, Emotional Support might be— or you can influence her with a string.
Josie: With a string.
April: Depends on whether you want her to just feel better or do the thing that needs to happen right now.
Minna: At the moment, because it is very much a “we need to do this fast”, I think it’s gonna be an influence with a string.
Josie: Mm hmm.
April: Okay. So there’s an XP in it for Mel if you will go with your friend.
Josie: Sure.
April: But I do wanna hear what Sidonia says.
Minna: What Keelie says.
Rhi: Keelie.
April: Oh sorry, what Keelie says.
Minna: It’s okay. Uh, so Keelie is like, about to run past and then she notices Mel.
Minna (as Keelie): Mel!
Josie (as Meliaryx): Eh— uh—
Minna (as Keelie): Mel, we need you.
Josie (as Meliaryx): [hesitates]
April (as Mordrella): She’s just going to destroy you.
Josie: Mel growls at her again.
Minna (as Keelie): You can listen to her drip more poison in your ears or you can come with us and get away and get your head straight.
Josie: Mel is gonna let her sword, the tip of her sword, hit the ground and sorta nod wordlessly before slowly backing towards the window.
Minna (as Keelie): I can’t carry them both. Can you carry someone right now?
Josie (as Meliaryx): Um. Yeah. Yeah. I can carry what we need.
Josie: And she’s gonna turn into dragon form again.
April: That might also have been Emotional Support, but I think we’re gonna wind up with you all jumping out the windows with wings and holding close to one another for safety and riding just far enough before there’s this implosion from the ship. So it collapses in and then it bursts out, and there are chunks of the Void Empress’s yacht flying this way and that as Meliaryx flies away from it. And Aurelia, you’re pretty sure that the rebel that you were talking to before is gonna be pleased with this development.
Rhi: [laughs]
April: You think that all will be forgiven. [laughs] But give me a little, like, epilogue of where your characters are in the coming days or weeks or moments.
Rhi: So, I’m picturing on whatever ship that we’re on heading back towards Haven, I think that there’s just like— I think it’s kind of a very short little wordless scene of like, Aurelia is wandering the ship with, like, a covered tray. And keeps checking rooms and turning away and then finally finds Mel somewhere and just like, sits down with her and takes off the tray and it’s just a big pile of food.
Josie: [gasps]
April: [laughs]
Rhi: That they can share.
April: Aww.
Josie: Yay. [laughs]
April: Sweet.
Josie: Mel happily joins in and maybe nuzzles pretty close.
Minna: Aww!
April: Aww, cute!
Rhi: Aurelia will allow it, but feels guilty. [laughs]
April: Don’t you just wanna boop the dragon?
Rhi: I do, but I mustn’t!
[laughter]
April: How about Keelie and/or Sidonia?
Minna: We never did that Smitten thing that was gonna push me over.
Kim: No. We could do a scene now, just to end with that.
Minna: [excited] Mm hmm.
April: Totally.
Kim: I do like the idea of our scene just being us both looking out the window as the ship is taking off and just woefully looking at our home planet.
April: Oh my gosh!
Rhi: Aww.
Minna: So, I think she is going to kind of cross her arms, like, really tightly.
Minna (as Keelie): [sighs] Never though I’d be sorry to see it go.
Kim (as Sidonia): Did you not like it there?
Minna (as Keelie): Got off the planet as soon as I could.
Kim (as Sidonia): When it happened.
Minna (as Keelie): Oh no, no. I got off before it happened.
Kim (as Sidonia): When?
Minna (as Keelie): It doesn’t matter.
Minna: And like, she tries to walk away. [laughs]
Kim: No, Sidonia’s gonna stop her.
Kim (as Sidonia): What do you mean? How long before? Because I… I don’t really remember, but I do remember seeing you not too long before it happened. When did you leave?
Minna (as Keelie): It was about a week. I think I heard about a week later.
Kim (as Sidonia): Oh.
Minna (as Keelie): But I knew you were alright. I mean, they would have said if anything had happened to you.
Kim (as Sidonia): I suppose. Why did you never… find me again? Why now?
Minna (as Keelie): I mean, I didn’t exactly set out to find you. I just… work brought me here. I didn’t know it was going to play out like this.
Kim (as Sidonia): Oh.
Minna (as Keelie): Not that I’m not happy to see you.
Minna: This useless asshole. [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs]
April: Yeah, I feel like the only way to break this uselessness might be a Figure Out from Sidonia.
Minna: [laughs]
Kim: Okay, yeah, let’s do that.
Josie: [laughs]
Kim: Roll plus Wit to figure someone out?
April: Yep.
Kim: Okay. Oh, I have zero Wit. Great. [rolls dice]
Rhi: Uh, spend a string. That will get you plus 3 if you spend a string.
Kim: I will spend a string in addition to my roll. Because I rolled a 4. So that brings me to 7?
April: Great. Then you get to ask two probing questions and she gets to ask you— I feel like we may only need one, but let’s do it.
Kim (as Sidonia): How could I get you to stay?
Minna: [gasps]
Rhi: Ooh…
Minna (as Keelie): Give me something to stay for.
Rhi: [whispers] Kiss her!
Kim (as Sidonia): What about me?
Rhi: Kiss her!
Kim (as Sidonia): Am I not worth staying for? We used to be friends.
Minna: You’re not about to stick around for me, are you?
Kim (as Sidonia): What is that supposed to mean?
Minna (as Keelie): I know what you need to do. This was only a distraction.
Kim: I feel like that’s a good point to ask my second question, which I gotta, I gotta hit a home run with. I gotta figure out what works best.
Minna: Alternately, I could ask my question now.
Kim: Oh, okay. Yeah, that works.
Minna: Because I imagine they’ve been, like, leaning closer as they say these things.
April: [laughs]
Kim: Yes!
April: Definitely.
Minna: And like, Keelie raises like a hand—
Kim: Ah! Oh! [claps] We’re having an Empire Strikes Back moment.
Minna: Oh, fuck me. Leave me alone.
[laughter]
Kim: You know what scene I’m talking about.
Minna: Yes, I know what you’re talking about. She raises a hand to Sidonia’s cheek and says:
Minna (as Keelie): How would you feel—
Minna: Not— she doesn’t say, but the vibe is like, you know, meeting her as like, “How would you feel if I kissed you right now?” Because I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be good.
Kim: I don’t think Sidonia even says anything. I think she just leans up and kisses her.
Rhi: [delighted screech]
April: Aww…
Rhi: Yes!
Minna: So they have this very emotional kiss, I assume.
Kim: Mm hmm. Yeah.
Minna: And when they pull away and they’re out of breath, what does Sidonia have to ask?
Kim (as Sidonia): What are your feelings towards me?
Minna: And I think this one isn’t a verbal answer either. I think it’s just the way that all the pretense is stripped away and all you see in Keelie’s eyes is like, how much she doesn’t want this moment to end.
April: Aww.
Rhi: Oh… that feels like a really good stopping point.
April: The end!
Minna: [laughs]
Josie: [laughs]
April: And they lived gayly ever after.
Rhi: Yes!
Kim: Or do we live tragically ever after? Because we could never be.
Minna: That’s— see, we leave it on this question. We don’t have to solve it all.
Rhi: We leave it there.
Kim: Perfect.
April: [laughs] We leave it with the yearning.
Kim: Yes!
Rhi: Oh man.
April: Thank you.
Rhi: Well, thank you—
Minna: Thank you for running.
Rhi: Yeah, thank you so much for running this, April.
Kim: Yes!
Rhi: This was a ton of fun.
Minna: I love this game. [laughs]
April: Thank you. You’re fantastic, you’re perfect thirsty sword lesbians. Thank you all.
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: Thank you for running.
Rhi: Just as kinda wrapping up, where, again, can we find all of your wonderful information about this game?
April: Visit swordlesbians.com or sword.gay. We have a Kickstarter running. We have a bunch of fantastic stretch goals for new adventures and settings and character types from a whole range of great creators. We have gorgeous gay art. Help up make more and check it out. So again, that’s sword.gay or swordlesbians.com and I’m @GaySpaceshipsGms on Twitter. GaySpaceshipGms.
##Outro [01.14.18]
Rhi: Thanks for listening. Visit magpiespodcast.net every other Tuesday to catch the latest episodes of The Magpies.
Thirsty Sword Lesbians was created and GMed by April Walsh. Follow her on Twitter @GaySpaceshipGms and check out Thirsty Sword Lesbians on Kickstarter now.
Captain Aurelia Quintus was played by Rhi. Follow her on Twitter @rhiannon42 and visit rpgskillcheck.net for her copy editing and accessibility consulting services.
Keelie was played by Minna. Follow her on Twitter @mynaminnarr.
Meliaryx the Void Dragon was played by Josie. Follow her on Twitter @DragonGirlJosie.
Princess Sidonia was played by Kim Kogut. Follow her on Twitter @kimdianajones.
This episode was edited by Tracy Barnett. You can follow them on Twitter @TheOtherTracy and learn about their games and freelance work at theothertracy.com
The credits music is “Equal Proportions” by David Hilowitz and is used under a creative commons license.
Thirsty Sword Lesbians is published by Evil Hat Productions and can be found online at swordlesbians.com and sword.gay.