The Magpies: Season 3 Blooper Reel
Transcribed by Therin (Twitter: @explosiverunes)
Kim: It’s very much a… JC Leyendecker is to Norman Rockwell, as Raffelo is to his devotees and followers.
Rhi: I’m gonna take your word for that, because I know nothing about art history.
[laughter]
Kim: [groans in frustration]
Minna: Definitely don’t know anything about Rockwell…
Kim: He’s a fraud! Anyway…
Josie: It’s okay Kim. I got it.
Minna: Well, I know who that is, I just don’t know his inspirations.
Kim: He’s a fraud. JC Leyendecker is better. Anyway!
Rhi: [laughs] Alright! Kim with the… I don’t know if that’s a hot take, outside of—anyway, I’m sorry Kim. Josie appreciates you.
Kim: No, it’s fine.
Josie: At my school it would’ve been a hot take, because that’s the kind of school mine was.
Kim: Oh no! [shudders]
Minna: Oh! I have a JC Leyendecker picture in one of Myra’s inspiration boards.
Kim: Yeah, exactly. And people need to stop sucking on Rockwell’s dick. Anyway.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Yes.
Kim: He’s an overrated buffoon.
Rhi: There’s a lot of…
## [00:00:58]
Rhi: Blaire.
Kim: Yes, I need to—
Rhi: I imagine you get some stress to burn.
Josie: Xp! Xp!
Kim: Oh yeah.
Rhi: God dammit!
[laughter]
Rhi: It’s been a month. That’s my excuse.
Minna: What’s your excuse the other times?
Rhi: DAAMN!
[laughter]
Josie: Jeez, fucking murdered.
Rhi: Minna is coming for my fucking life!
Minna: I’m coming for everyone’s life tonight, I don’t know why I’m feeling so full of beans.
Rhi: Jesus. Alright! I mean… fair! You’re not wrong. It’s true but you shouldn’t say it.
Kim: Ya got me there!
Minna: If it’s anything like earlier with my roommate, I will experience some form of karmic retribution very shortly.
Rhi: [loudly laughs]
## [00:01:40]
Kim: For some reason I could just picture that as an “Always Sunny” title card. Like, “The Gang Steals the New York Times.”
Josie: —steals the New York Times! [chuckling]
Minna: Honestly, that would be fantastic but also we would die.
## [00:01:54]
Kim: So wait a minute. Who among us is the Spider-Man?
Josie: Hmm.
Rhi: There is a lone vigilante out in the city who is known for…
Kim: I meant within the Magpies.
Josie: I mean, Myra is literally the playbook “The Spider.”
Kim: Ahh.
Rhi: True.
Minna: I was going to suggest that Phin is the spider, because Phin is over there fighting for her neighborhood, or was over there.
Rhi: And also, across the many multiverses, all of the Spider-People collectively have a single brain cell between all of them? And Myra is too smart for that.
Kim: True.
Josie: Yes. Myra is a competent human.
[laughter]
Rhi: As opposed to:
Rhi (as Miles Morales): Play dumb.— “Who’s Morales?” — Not that dumb!
Kim: Alright, Peter and Miles are pretty dumb, but I feel like Gwen’s pretty competent.
Rhi: [dubiously] Mm.
Kim: Gwen’s competent.
Rhi: Yeah but still—
Josie: Comparatively.
Minna: “Gwanda.”
Rhi: Yeah! I was also gonna say, “Gwanda.”
Kim: Yeah, alright. Point taken.
Rhi: Alright, let’s focus back.
Minna: All of the Spider-Man nerds angrily write in to us about how smart Spider-Man is.
[laughter]
Josie: So what you’re saying is, the real Spider-Man was inside us all, all along.
Kim: That’s the message of Into the Spider-Verse.
Josie and Rhi: Yeah.
Rhi: Okay. Bringin’ it back…
## [00:03:19]
Minna: Minna did a Gather Info in the background, because she couldn’t—I thought something was pinging me wrong. Jameson I think was the cover identity when we were lawyers.
Rhi and Josie: Yeah.
Minna: Eliza Schrift question mark? It’s either Misha Koros or Eliza Schrift that you were during the Langdon Imports Case.
Josie: It was Misha Koros I believe.
Minna: Okay. The stern yet beguiling lawyer?
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Precisely.
Rhi: Ahh, I love—
Josie: No, that was you, I thought!
Minna: I think I was Misha. I think you were Eliza.
Josie: Okay.
Kim (as Blaire): And Peggy!
Minna: Sorry, I may have looked up the document called “Spicy Cover Identities,” just to know. [pause] You know it’s a heck of an episode when I have “Spicy Cover Identities” open, but not my character sheet.
Rhi and Josie: [laughter]
Rhi: Hang on, I gotta tweet that.
Minna and Josie: [laughter]
## (00:04:18)
Kim (as Blaire): Good credit? Bad credit? No credit? Fuck it, you dead?
Rhi: Ghost credit!
Kim (as Blaire): Wait, no. I messed that up. Hang on, let me try that again. Good credit? Bad credit? No problem!
Josie: [laughing] You don’t need to do it—
Kim (as Blaire): Oh, you dead? Fuck it! Ghost credit!
Rhi: I’m gonna get a Subaru!
Josie: [holding back laughter] Kim, you didn’t need to do a second take of a meme.
[laughter]
Rhi: Listen. She is an artiste. She’s dedicated to her craft.
Josie: That is true.
Rhi: And the craft is memes.
Kim: No, it’s mostly just memes. I got my degree in memes.
##(00:04:53)
Rhi: I’m really looking forward to the comments saying that we’re sexist and hate men, again.
Minna: [laughs]
Josie: I mean, if that’s true, we’ve done our job.
Rhi: [laughs] Alright, let’s—
Josie: And I mean, we’re super SJW’s, because it’s not necessarily a guy who just got twisted!
Rhi: Yeah!
## (00:05:16)
Rhi: I wish I had asked Minna how long she was going to be gone for.
Kim: That’s okay, because now this is time for… meme-ing.
Rhi: Oh no. [laughs]
Josie: Oh, god.
Rhi: Minna was the one who needed “fish in a tube” explained.
Kim: I know. But… this is feral silly-billy time, is what I’m saying. I can ramble.
Minna: I return. What is feral silly-billy time?!
[laughter]
Kim: Okay, you’re back.
Minna: Is that every time with Kim?
Rhi: Pretty much.
[laughter]
## (00:05:52)
Rhi: [groans] In my apartment, the windows in my living room face the alley, and in order to keep my apartment cool, I have a fan in one of the windows, to bring in cool air. Someone in my building has very enthusiastically embraced the fact that Illinois legalized pot, and likes to smoke in the alley behind the building, and with the fan on, I’m just getting…
Kim: That good, good kush.
Rhi: But it’s not like… I just get a headache from being around pot smoke.
Josie: Same. I’m the same way.
Rhi: I don’t get a contact high, I just… my brain hurts. So I just was kinda like “Okay, deep breath—oh no!!” But it’s fine. I’ll probably close the window here in a minute, once we’re done.
## (00:06:43)
Rhi: Yeah, the Rail Jacks are a group of people that stand on the outside of moving trains and fight ghosts on them.
Minna: I love that
Kim: I just want to sing the song from Cats that’s the railway cat song, now.
[Someone meows]
Rhi: Rail Jacks are so cool.
## (00:06:58)
Minna: Just, so strange to be in this place that she never thought she would be in.
Rhi and Josie: Aww!
Kim: That’s gay.
[laughter]
Minna: I will admit that, drunkenly musing about poetry, probably yes.
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: It’s pretty gay.
Josie: You know what, I buy that.
##(00:07:17)
Minna: What if we just make sure that some staff get sick, like put something mild in—
Rhi: [horrified] Oh my god, you’re poisoning people?
Minna: Mild! Just like, mildly ill! Like, put it in the staff lounge…
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: [shocked whisper] Giving people food poisoning…
Minna: I don’t even know how we would get in there and do that. That’s too complicated.
Rhi: Oh my god. You commit one murder and the morals just go out the window. I mean, it’s been more than one murder.
Kim: Hey, that’s the business, bay-bee~
[laughter]
Minna: I don’t think that makes sense, though, in terms of like—
Rhi: Yeah, that would be pretty complex. You could make a roll to see if you could just get hired legitimately…
## (00:08:00)
Rhi: Oh…
Kim: [groans]
Rhi: Is that a… yeah, that’s very good. I thought for a second that it was a Dishonored 2 cosplay.
Kim: [murmuring] I’m bisexual.
[loud laughter]
Rhi: That’s real good.
Kim: I would let her step on me.
Josie: Same.
Kim: And I would thank her.
Minna: [laughs]
Rhi: Do you want to describe… well, you know what? Hold on to this and you can describe the outfit when you get there.
## (00:08:31)
Rhi: Blaire is, I think, going to be carrying around trays of drinks all night.
Kim: Unfortunately, but yes.
Kim (as Blaire): Hors d’œuvres? Hors d’œuvres? Champagne?
Rhi: Yep, that’s basically your job.
Kim (as Blaire): Eat the rich? I mean…
[raucous laughter]
Rhi: And, yeah, Minx has a legit way in, and Myra is going to have to Stealth.
Minna (mimicking Blaire): Just desserts, anybody?
Rhi: [laughs]
Minna: I’m so glad you weren’t mad.
Rhi: No, that one went around to become good again.
Kim (as Blaire): Guillotine?
## (00:09:08)
Josie: [laughing] Kim. I love you.
Rhi: You are a gift and a treasure.
Kim: [screaming] Ahh! Ahhhh! Fuck!
Rhi: So he takes—
[laughter]
Rhi: You gotta think before you say things on recording, m’dear.
Kim: All you had to say was mustache. Done!
Minna: She didn’t even get to mustache before your line.
Rhi: Oh man. Yeah, you made a noise when I said “white hair.” Anyway…
Kim: You tapped into the Victor Sullivan vein. I’m shutting up now.
Rhi: I know. [devious chuckle]
## (00:09:47)
Josie: Or worse. There could be a rapping dog on this train.
Kim: A what?
Josie: A rapping dog. You know, from Titanic.
Minna: What?
Kim: There— isn’t a rapping dog from Titanic.
Josie: Sure there is, in the animated musical version.
Minna: What?
Kim: There’s an— okay this is—
Rhi: Okay, full stop, hold on. Josie, please explain. I have so many questions.
Kim: What is the animated musical version of the Titanic?
Rhi: Is it based on the movie?
Josie: Yes, it’s based on the movie and basically the only explanation is… this shitty Italian animator saw it, and didn’t know it was a real thing.
Kim: Oh no…
Rhi: Oh my god…
Josie: And there’s actually two.
Kim: There’s two?
Josie: Yeah
Rhi: Two… two… two shitty animated movies, or two rapping dogs?
Josie: Two shitty animated movies. Only one has the rapping dog.
Rhi: Oh my god.
Josie: But here, observe.
Kim: Why is there a giant octopus?
Minna: Why does it look like a Fievel knockoff?
Josie: Oh, that’s the other one. The giant octopus with a puppy face is the second one.
Kim: Why are they all mice? Why is this like…
Minna: American Tail.
Josie: Because it’s obviously ripping it off!
Rhi: Okay, we’ll come back to that on the break. [nervous laughter] This is a lot.
Kim: Yeah.
Minna: It’s a lot you’ve just dumped on us.
Josie: After such knowledge.
Rhi: I feel like I can now divide my life into two halves. There was a time before I knew about this, and a time after, and the world is a very different place.
Minna: This is dark knowledge that you’ve bargained with devils for.
Josie: That’s okay, because everybody’s feeling fine, cause it’s party time.
Rhi: Okay. We’ll come back to that. Holy shit, that’s incredible… Okay. I’ve got to say something here that will make for an easy transition when I’m editing…
## (00:11:51)
Rhi: [thoughtfully] Amancio talks like… Sonic on speed.
[surprised laughter]
Rhi: Why did I do that!?
Kim: Not exactly like Sonic, though.
Minna: He drinks weird tea, right?
## (00:12:04)
Josie: I think that’s a good place to stop it.
[Distressed noises]
Josie: Minna, what are you doing to us, tonight?
Minna: Listen.
Josie: What are you—
Minna: Every now and again, she has to check in. She checked in with Blaire and realized, “Huh, it’s been a while, for Minx.”
Kim: Minna! Myra!
Rhi: Minna’s on the war path against our hearts!
[Shocked and exhausted exclamations]
Minna: She’s not good at asking for help, but she does like to give help.
Rhi: [groans]
Kim: [singsong] Mom-friend!
Rhi: Uh-huh.
Minna: [sighs] Closing scene, right?
## (00:12:40)
Rhi: Actually you two—canonically, in the book, Scurlock has The Immortal Emperor listed as one of his enemies.
Kim: [elatedly] Yesss!
Waffles: Listen…
Josie: Listen, just because they’re enemies does not stop the ship.
Rhi: Oh, I know, I’m just saying. I’m not saying—
Kim: That makes him more for my dad!
Rhi: Oh my god.
Kim: I will not let this go, Rhi!
Rhi: [resignedly] Yeah, I am aware.
Kim: I will not stop until he’s my dad. Blaire’s dad.
[giggling]
Kim: Did you know about—[laughs]—We’ll tell you about this plot puppy on break, Waffles. Scurlock’s gonna be my dad.
## (00:13:16)
Rhi: The other two were a 1 and a 3. [laughs]
Kim: Banish them.
Rhi: Nope. They’re the dice that you gave me, the nice metal ones.
Kim: Yes, but if they roll failures, you banish them for the rest of the game. That’s what I do with my dice.
Rhi: Why would I do that? I’m the GM.
Minna: [laughing] You do that when you’re a player.
Kim: You don’t want that, when you’re in charge.
Rhi: I want all of the options available to me.
Minna: I mean, to be fair, she’s probably not going to roll dice again this entire session.
Kim: That’s true.
Rhi: So you’re starting at a 6—I might have to make fortune rolls—and you are in a controlled position.
Kim: Or you might have to heal us.
## (00:13:56)
Kim: I have no excuse for why I went for real blood first. I forgot that, like… fake blood probably exists in this universe.
[others laughing, someone is slow-clapping in the background]
Minna: You just knew that you had real blood on hand.
Multiple: Yeah
Rhi: Continue, Myra.
Minna: If you don’t have real blood on hand, homemade is fine.
[laughter]
Rhi: Oh Jesus.
Minna: So…
## (00:14:22)
[We cut into the scene amid Josie laughing]
Rhi: Yes. The Holmes-ness is divided across two people. One has the looks and the other has the personality.
Josie: [at the same time] —the brains.
[laughter]
Rhi: Yeah, the ability to solve crimes.
[pause as laughter subsides]
Rhi: I really enjoy the fact that Minx changing into this outfit to solve the mystery implies that there is a Sherlock Holmes-type figure, who wears this kind of outfit in Duskwall.
Minna: Oh my god.
Josie: We’ve established that she reads dime novels and stuff, so…
Rhi: Yeah, yeah. Maybe Minna, that can be your next Magpies’ Quill.
Minna: Oh my god! Do not tempt me.
Josie: Tempting you.
Rhi: Yeah, that’s what I’m here for.
## (00:15:08)
Josie (as Minx): I think we can trust that you will be safe at the Panera.
Minna: Oh god, we don’t have to call it that in character!
[laughter]
## (00:15:20)
Rhi: [laughs] I just had a mental image of Minx trying to play the violin, badly.
[laughter]
Josie: Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing.
Rhi: Just horrible screeching sounds. Hex has fled.
Minna: Oh no.
Kim (as Blaire): Where did she even get that!?
Minna: You did also find Myra on the couch. [laughing] Okay, never mind. We’re going to stop making this joke.
## (00:15:48)
Minna: I love how Blaire’s the only one of us who has parents… and she’s the one who has adoptive parents, here.
[laughter]
Kim: Listen.
Josie: She has an abundance of parents.
Kim: Blaire Culhane stole my parents for political reasons.
[laughter]
Rhi: Oh man. I know at some point there was a joke that was like… Sometimes a family is a mom, a dad, a mom, a mom, a vampire dad… and a Whisper.
Kim: Do what you need to cope.
Josie: A cat, and a statue.
Rhi: Oh yeah, and a statue! Can’t forget Kevin.
## (00:16:31)
Rhi: Yeah…
Kim: Because Ojal’s McHeckin dead.
Minna: No, Ojal is the Terminator, right now.
Rhi: Yeah, Ojal is a murder bot.
Kim: Basically dead.
Rhi: I mean… her body is dead, but her spirit lives on, in the murder bot.
Josie: [laughs]
Kim: [sighs]
Rhi: Myra.
Minna: What a nightmare of a setting.
[laughter]
Kim: I mean, yes. But we knew this.
## (00:17:01)
Rhi: I’m sorry about your dice.
Kim: I should just go home. Blaire should go home. Take a nap.
[sympathetic laughter]
Josie: I mean… actually, probably. It’ll be a lot safer, there!
## (00:17:19)
Minna: Should I leave a Magpies pin on her jacket?
Kim: Nooo…
Minna: Okay.
Rhi: I mean… you could though, is the thing.
Josie: Discreetness is a part of this one.
Rhi: [Insistently] But you could, though, is the thing.
Kim: Don’t give into Rhi’s power trips.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Yeah, let’s not do that.
Minna: I just wanted to think through whether that was a good idea or not. If you guys do not think it’s a good idea, we will not do it. Myra is cautious.
## (00:17:52)
Josie: When you said “I’m okay with Nyryx being in charge,” I had to bite my tongue to not be like… “Oh, me too!”
[loud laughter]
Rhi: “Oh, good! Another thing we have in common.”
Minna: This is the stinger, right?
Kim: Minx is a bottom?
Josie: [scandalized] Yes, of course she is!
Rhi: [cackling]
Josie: She’s a pillow princess!
Kim: Oh… yes she is. She’s totally a pillow princess. Yes. You’re right.
Josie: Like, I won’t say there haven’t been, like, times where she’s done it. But it’s a very rare occurrence.
Kim: Yeah, Minx is a bottom.
[Rhi has not stopped laughing for the entire discussion]
Rhi: I love Kim’s… instant switch of, like “Oh, no. No, you’re right.”
[laughter]
## (00:18:39)
Rhi: Quick aside. When I was at AcadeCon last year… Are you all familiar with—like, not listened to but heard of the Broadswords podcast?
Kim: I know of them, yeah.
Rhi: So, they did a live show, and I didn’t have anything else to do, and I kind of know the people involved, so I went. And apparently when they do live shows they… They’re traditionally a D&D podcast, but when they do live shows, they have a college AU that they do?
Kim: Aww!
Minna: [delighted gasp]
Rhi: …and it was amazing!
Kim: That sounds like so much fun.
Rhi: Yeah! So just you mentioning Blaire’s—
Minna: Do you know how much I think about the college AU of these kids?
Rhi: Yeah. College AUs are very good. But just you mentioning Blaire’s musical taste reminded me of that… of Blaire’s—
Kim: Only when she’s super angsty is when she brings out the trash.
[laughter]
Kim: And let me tell you, as a kid with a Warrior Cats phase who also listened to Three Day’s Grace, it is… capital-T trash. Windows Movie Maker days, it’s… oof. Oof!
## (00:19:50)
Rhi: We’re going into the scene with Scurlock, so fuckin… RIP. Kim, you’re up.
Kim: No! Nooo! Stop it! [It sounds like Rhi is threatening her family]
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: How dare you!?
Rhi: I didn’t do it. It’s Minna’s fault. I’m blaming Minna.
Kim: Okay, but Good Omens is literally the inherent eroticism of breaking straight cultural codes for love.
Rhi: So is Star Wars, apparently.
Kim: [groans]
Rhi: Listen. Welcome to Hell.
Kim: I don’t want to go into the Scurlock scene with this energy!
Rhi: [giggles]
Kim: Josie, shut the fuck up. I love you, but shut up.
Rhi: Okay, so…
Kim: [groans] Ahh, fuck.
Rhi: So we find Blaire at Scurlock Manor.
Kim: Okay. [scoffs]
Rhi: Should I give you a minute?
Kim: Please? I would prefer it.
Rhi: Yep. Take a second. Think good thoughts.
Kim: [far from her mic] Give me just a sec. Hang on.
Rhi: [giggles more]
Kim: [screams in angst]
Rhi: This is all on the recording, y’all.
## (00:21:06)
Josie: For some reason, describing the house made me think of like, one of those dumb house hunting shows? Reality shows on TV? But it’s all haunted-ass shit.
Rhi: Oh, I want that. I want a combination ghost- and house-hunters show now.
Josie: Yeah, it’s… The first half of the episode is them finding someplace that’s haunted. The second part is them selling it to some goth couple.
Rhi: Yes!
## (00:21:37)
Rhi: [laughs] Blaire is just asking for hugs from everyone. It’s wonderful.
Kim: Hey! Hey, hey! I didn’t ask Scurlock for a hug.
Rhi: That’s true, because you knew that that would not have worked.
Kim: At this point, that would’ve been a “no.” But I will get there. Before this game is out I will get there. I swear to you. This game isn’t ending until I get a hug from Scurlock. Anyway!
Rhi: Jesus… 18 seasons in…
Kim: [loud laughing]
## (00:22:07)
[Dice tumbling across desk]
Rhi: [yelps in surprise] Sorry, I just knocked over a bunch of dice.
Minna: [nervously] Don’t die!
Kim: I thought Harley had attacked you, for a second.
Josie: I was like, “oh no, DM secrets.”
Rhi: No, I just have my dice stacked up in a nice pyramid, and I knocked it over. I wasn’t actually rolling dice.
## (00:22:24)
Minna: Under the bridge?
Rhi: No. Vetoed.
Kim: Blink 1—
Rhi: No.
Kim: Oh!! Mm, alright, never mind. I was going to suggest some kind of Linkin Park parody, but that’s still… that shit hurted.
Rhi: Let’s see…
Kim: Oh, oh oh! Can it be Fort Major, instead of Fort Minor?
Minna: Now I’m just turning over the Third Eye Blind pun, because I feel like a third eye is very… appropriate. [laughs]
Kim: True.
Rhi: You are both monsters.
Kim and Minna: [laughter]
Minna: I’m sorry! I got derailed. Usually I’m good at games, but then there was a pun game involved, and I can’t resist those.
Rhi: I’m going to look at the list of the Forgotten Gods.
Kim: Can it be Simple Plan?
Rhi: [frustrated] No.
Minna: [laughing and maybe sobbing a little bit]
Kim: Oh! Instead of “Bring Me The Horizon,” maybe it’s “Bring Me The Leviathan”? Could that be something?
Minna: All-Akorosi Rejects!
Kim: [enthusiastically] Ohh!! The All-American Rejects. Oh my god, yes.
[long pause]
Minna: We’re so sorry that we’ve done this.
Rhi: [dramatically] Why do you do this to me?
Minna: [words inaudible through laughter]
Kim: Okay, Rhi. You brought up anti-establishment pop-punk bands. Like, you can’t expect me to not. And also? Bring Me The Leviathan.
Rhi: I will say—This was the problem. You were giving me band names. You weren’t giving me bar names.
Kim: Oh, that’s right. We were in the wrong zone. I should’ve given you bar names instead of band names.
Rhi: Those can all be bands playing at the Haymarket Tavern. [chuckles] The All-Akorosian Rejects? God dammit.
Kim: My Chemical Romance could still be a thing. There’s nothing that rejects that.
Rhi: [bursts out laughing] Yup. That’s it.
Kim: [singing] We’ll carry on, we’ll carry on…
Rhi: Fuck. This is going to be the longest god damn bit.
Minna: They will eat the bit and they will enjoy it!
## (00:24:57)
Rhi: And I will say, due to the time period and the instruments that are available, it is not actually a pop-punk show. I want to be cle—
Kim: [crestfallen] Oh no!
Rhi: Electric guitars have not been invented yet.
Kim: Electroplasm exists in this universe! Somebody has harnessed it into the power of music.
Rhi: It has not—electric guit… [grumbling] Making me look up when electric guitars were invented.
Kim: [groans] It’s not going to be what I want. But we’re in a fantasy setting where electroplasm exists. Someone who’s really suffering probably took the power of electroplasm and put it into their music. Therefore, electric guitars.
Rhi: No.
Kim: Please.
Rhi: [laughs] There are guitars, there are drums, there is probably spoken-word poetry.
Kim: [singing] Toss a coin to your emo…
Rhi: So yeah, it is not actually a pop-punk show.
Kim: I’m so sad.
Rhi: More like folk-punk. It’s more folk music, I think, is the vibe here.
Kim: You know what? Acceptable. I’ll accept it.
Minna: I mean, I feel like Kim can absolutely accept this.
Kim: I’m pop-punk at heart, though, so this is very hurtful.
## (00:26:24)
Rhi: The roll is going to tell you how good of an attorney you find.
Josie: I see. So, 3d6?
Rhi: Yep.
Josie: Critical.
Rhi: Jesus Christ.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: Are you kidding? Holy shit. Okay, critical… Tier+2. This is a Tier V real estate attorney. What the fuck? Who—? Okay. We’re going to have to figure out how the hell you came into contact with one of the top real—
Kim: If I may…
Rhi: Yes, please. [laughs]
Kim: I know that Phoenix Wright is not a real estate attorney.
[An explosion of laughter. Rhi laughs so hard she starts coughing.]
Kim: We find the Duskwall equivalent of Phoenix Wright, right?
Rhi: Oh my god.
Josie: Yes. Kim, just to demonstrate how we’re on the same wavelength… what I’ve been doing with the clicking just now, secretly, is… I looked up names that are birds so I could come up with an analog for Phoenix Wright.
Kim: Perfect. He definitely has a homoerotic rival that he has a long history with. I’m just putting that out there.
## (00:27:40)
Rhi: Yeah, the boat vampire was a plot thread that I was like… maybe I’ll come back to that and do something with it. And I never did. It’s probably never going to get picked up again. As I’ve said, it’s the shotgun method of making it look like I foreshadow things. If I put down a dozen different plot threads, I look really cool when I pick up three of them again. It looks like I planned shit out.
[laughter]
## (00:28:13)
Kim: The spirit? That’s the spirit?
Minna: [giggles]
Josie: Mm-hmm!
Rhi: [sighs] You know that one Unraveled video where Brian David Gilbert announces that he’s going to throw himself into the sea?
Josie: [laughing] Uh huh!
Kim: No, I don’t.
Rhi: That is my emotional state right now.
Josie: Wait. Kim, you haven’t seen that video?
Kim: I haven’t seen a lot of Unraveleds. I just kind of watch them as I please.
Rhi: Okay, well, we will fix that after this recording.
Josie: I’m going to link it for you later, because this one is specifically tailored towards you.
Kim: Oh, is it?
Rhi: Yeah. That’s the Castlevania one, right?
Kim: Oh! I think I’ve seen the Castlevania one. Yeah, the sexiest enemies? I have seen that one, it’s just been a long time.
## (00:29:09)
Minna: But remember the tale of the characters in Rhi’s one-shot who were all ready to leave and live, and then went back to get the thing that they forgot, and died.
[laughter]
Rhi: They didn’t forget anything. There was nothing left behind.
Kim: Let me put it this way—I’m not going to die, because I’m too cute to die. It’s possible that I could max out my stress and take a trauma on this score, which, thematically would be appropriate.
Rhi: It would.
Josie: And it would remove you from the situation.
Kim: It would remove me from the situation and also I know exactly what trauma Blaire would take.
## (00:29:48)
Minna: Vantablack.
Rhi: And you can’t—
Kim: Yep.
Rhi: No, we’re gonna get sued by whatsisface!
[laughter]
Rhi: The guy who hates that we call it the Chicago bean. It’s okay, I’ll put it in the blooper reel, it’ll be behind a paywall.
[laughter]